BEGO Funny Status Messages

   TIP OF THE DAY: If you can't afford porn, just turn on tennis and shut your eyes.

   I want that "Damn you are still together?" Relationship!

   Guys who say they like girls who don't wear makeup really mean they like girls that look really hot without the help of makeup.

   When I was a child,I acted like a child and had imaginary friends,now they just call it facebook.

   advises all the young people, "Do not grow up; it's a trap!!"

   NO, you don't have “haters”. People just don't like you. Get over yourself.

   The McRib is like an exgirlfriend visiting, you know you probably shouldn't do it, but hey, it's back for a limited time.

   Sometimes, I feel like my life should be documented for future generations.

   Sometimes I want to ask certain people, "So you looked in the mirror and thought you looked good enough to go outside?"

   Talking about me behind my back? That means my life is obviously more interesting than yours.

   The biggest lie on Facebook: 'status offline'

   Saying, "Hang on, I can't hear you!" while I'm in the bathroom is not my way of telling you, "Please talk louder." Just give me a freaking minute.

   Send a Hallmark Card to my EX: ""I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here

   Kids, try dealing with bullies the way I did: Grow up to be smarter, wealthier and better looking than them and then add them on Facebook.

   Today everyone will update about who they chose for president, then tomorrow it will be back to what they chose for lunch.

   [ ] single. [ ] taken. [X] I get about as much attention as a white crayon."

   Make a wish, and only you know it. Make a mistake, and everyone knows it.

   Got interrupted downloading the new version of iTunes by a pop up that asked if I wanted to download the even newer version of iTunes.

   Dear Mr. Chip bag thank you for telling me that 23 peices equal one serving. However, I need clarification on the exact size of your standard chip. Perhaps a life size picture on the bag would help.

   Experts say caffeine is bad for you, fat is bad you, sugar is bad for you… But don't worry, worrying is also bad for you too