love Funny Status Messages

   Here's to the women who love me terribly, May they soon improve.

   now the jumping on Oprah's couch professing my love for Katie is even embarrassing to me. - Tom Cruise

   2 entirely different phrases; each have 3 words and 8 letters: “I Love You!” vs. “Go To Hell!”

   Holding someone accountable is a form of love, too.

   I'm on the "I love food more than I love exercise but I love naps more than I love food" diet.

   It's not that I can't stand people who attend the University of Florida, it's that I can't stand the red-necks who love the Gators.

   I love "words with friends" so much I wish they would make it a board game.

   I love catching up with friends that I haven't seen for a while so that we can all sit around together doing shyt on our phones.

   The love between a man and a woman acts like a mousetrap to lure a man towards a woman enticing him like a pure cheese, but is secretly tied with a trap.

   I would hurt the people that I love for a taco right now.

   just realised the phrase is "in with hate...out with love" I thought it was the other way....no wonder I have no friends left!

   I love women's mentality "I said 'leave and never come back' but all I really want is you to stand outside my window throwing pebbles screaming 'I'm in love with you'!" - Taylor Swift

   Heard they have a new Michael Jackson video game out.....I bet the Pedophiles are gonna love this.

   I'm knee deep in pu$$y. Seriously, my 19 cats love the hell outta me.

   I love Facebook like Angelina Jolie loves to fill out adoption papers.

   You don’t get to choose who you love but you get to choose which underwear you’ll wear tomorrow and that shouldn’t be taken for granted.

   Lady, there is a differnece between "Love Handles" and "Tail Lights"

   searching Netflix for a movie to watch and found one that's titled after what all the women of my past have said to me... "I Love You, Don't Touch Me!"

   Dear Lunchables, I remember when I was a kid I used to love eating you, now that I'm an adult, I realize now that you are just cheese and crackers and are nowhere near a full lunch, wtf was I thinking. Please update your lunchables to feed more than a sma

   Dear Women, You know when you pull your bra thru your sleeve & stuff it into the couch? That's as close to us as you'll ever be. Love, Men