father OR dad Funny Status Messages
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wonders that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.
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12-10-2009 01:58
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the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. The little boy says, Daddy, what are you doing? The father replies, Making a baby. The little boy says, Well, do her doggie style! I'd rather have a puppy instead!
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05-28-2010 00:44 by Pacumbo
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If I can just make it one more day without some kid that I've never seen before wishing me a happy father's day this weekend will be a success.
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06-16-2012 21:42 by JYP
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When I date single moms, I tell the kids "I'm not trying to fill the hole left by your father; just the ones inside your mother."
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10-09-2012 14:26 by Baddie
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Fun fact: If you say 'Bloody Maury' into the mirror three times, you WILL be the father
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03-13-2012 07:53
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Not to victim-blame, but maybe Bruce Wayne’s father shouldn’t have brought his wife and 8 yr old son to a place called Crime Alley.
I refused to believe that my road worker father was stealing from his job but when I got home all the signs were there.
The celebration of single moms on fathers day blows me! Single moms do some amazing things but being a father isn't one of them.
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06-17-2012 08:52
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Dear Dad. Thanks for not pulling out. Happy Father's Day!
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06-15-2013 22:10
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In these times, when a celebrity cheats on his wife with multiple women, he gets criticized and exploited everywhere. Back in the founding father days, a man cheats and his face ends up on the 1, 5, 10, 20, 50, and 100 dollar bill.
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05-04-2010 13:12 by Danmanz
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This hood rat on Maury found out dude wasnt the Father, she ran so far backstage when I turned the Channel she was on 106 & Park!
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01-08-2013 23:59 by Fadolo
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The Democrats finally came forward and ruined Chelsey Clinton's life with the news that Janet Reno is actually her father.
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06-30-2010 07:47
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Dear God, Happy Father's Day.
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06-16-2013 12:35 by J.D.
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Happy Father's Day, God!
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06-21-2015 17:42 by guest-TJ
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wondering if Sugar Daddies get anything for Father's Day?
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06-21-2010 00:13 by COREY
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The reason it's called Mother Nature is because if it were Father Nature the weather would be a lot more predictable
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10-31-2012 07:19
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For Father's Day, I just want to wear my Crocs and Ed Hardy shirt and still be loved.
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06-16-2013 10:01
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My father always said The sky's the limit! Which now that I think about it might be why he lost his job at NASA?
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02-11-2020 01:21
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You can tell what was the best year of your father's life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and just ride it out.
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05-19-2018 08:07
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Taking care of your drunk friends inadvertently prepares you to be a father or mother.
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