Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Father: "I'm the BOSS. I make the rules and run this house, understand?" Daughter: "Why are you whispering daddy?" Father: "I don't want your mother to hear me."
←Rate | 08-15-2011 17:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some kid told my son knee pads are for pussies. I told him no, that's 'maxi' pads. And his mother should see a doctor.
←Rate | 07-14-2012 21:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shout-out to Mother Nature for not giving snakes wings...
←Rate | 02-04-2022 16:19 by Name Comments (0)  


   messageicon If my mother knew how many potential grandchildren I swallowed I wonder if she'd be proud or appalled.
←Rate | 11-11-2013 08:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have never been paid for sex, but holy mother of god, there were a few instances when I should have been.
←Rate | 10-03-2014 12:25 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are there jelly donuts but no peanut butter donuts? And why no peanut butter and jelly donuts? And why is my mother an alcoholic?
←Rate | 05-22-2013 04:22 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dating a single mother.... It's like continuing from somebody else's saved game.
←Rate | 04-22-2013 13:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kinda funny how a mother goes nuts when her China plates break, but a Chinese person would just make a new one.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 01:24 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon pretty sure that mother nature has been taken over by an evil step-mother!!!
←Rate | 01-05-2011 10:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother told me: "alcohol is your worst enemy." Jesus said: "love your enemy." Case closed.
←Rate | 01-23-2013 15:26 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't have a watch,, The quickest way to find out the time is to order a beer at breakfast with your mother.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 23:04 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The baby gets really annoyed when I try to undress him. He gets that from his mother.
←Rate | 08-23-2019 06:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Conflicting emotions: Watching your mother in-law drive off a cliff in your brand new car.
←Rate | 10-03-2017 01:57 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Those saying what a great guy Jovan Belcher was seem to overlook he just killed his baby's mother!!
←Rate | 12-01-2012 21:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most memorable quote by a mother: "Waldo, just where the hell have you been?"
←Rate | 08-24-2011 20:44 by Fred from Texas Comments (0)  


   messageicon POLLEN: Mother Natures hangover.
←Rate | 06-01-2011 20:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon .... Hillary reminded me of my condescending Mother in-law and Trump reminded me of my Grumpy Uncle
←Rate | 09-27-2016 12:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Screw it..... I'm just gonna say that these are " Mother's Day" lights now..... *lazy Christmas light owners...
←Rate | 04-23-2015 23:29 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon USA - "Dad can I borrow a few trillion dollars?" England - "...Ask your mother" China - "Hell no I'm not giving you any money!! You'll just let your government friends waste it all on gambling.
←Rate | 07-28-2011 01:34 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mom still hasn't gotten her Mother's Day card, the post office wasn't lying when they sold me the "forever" stamp.
←Rate | 11-23-2011 18:35 Comments (0)  




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