flinnie Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'flinnie': View All Messages
Page: 12 of 64

   messageicon Cop: did you see that sign? Me: yeah I saw the sign,..and it opened up my eyes I saw the sign, Cop: out of the car
←Rate | 04-13-2013 07:07 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I like to order my food "to go" then eat the whole thing at the counter while staring the cashier right in the eye
←Rate | 04-11-2013 06:19 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sitting on the plane. Stewardess said pilot passed out can somebody fly the plane? Took me almost 10 hours just to get it off the runway.
←Rate | 04-10-2013 06:33 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Old movies make train travel look so romantic, but who in this day and age has time to solve a murder mystery?
←Rate | 04-06-2013 08:09 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend. No one could imagine why he was my friend.
←Rate | 04-04-2013 06:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to get scared when I worked nights as a security guard so I carried a security blanket.
←Rate | 04-04-2013 06:13 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon FACT: The "sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't" is not really a good defense in court
←Rate | 04-04-2013 06:12 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon A watched pot never boils, but an un-watched pot boils over, so I don't know what you want from me life!
←Rate | 04-02-2013 06:11 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon April fool's day idea: Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says "Now voice activated!" Sit back & watch the magic unfold.
←Rate | 04-01-2013 06:20 by flinnie Comments (1)  


   messageicon Ford F-150 commercials make it seem as if hauling loads of crumbled boulders over mountainous terrain is a commonly-practiced thing.
←Rate | 03-27-2013 06:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to work for a psychic, and when I quit I didn't have to give two weeks notice.
←Rate | 03-26-2013 06:35 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to walk up to strangers and ask, "Would you take a photo of me?" If they say yes I hand them a photo of me and walk away.
←Rate | 03-23-2013 05:54 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My will has a list of friends not allowed to speak at my funeral.
←Rate | 03-18-2013 06:09 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you think St. Patrick is looking down from heaven thinking, "What are they doing? I hated beer and the color green."
←Rate | 03-17-2013 07:17 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when people text me "what are you doing?" at 1:00 pm on a weekday. Well I don't have your Art History degree, so probably "working".
←Rate | 03-16-2013 08:26 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shoutout to God for not giving wings to snakes.
←Rate | 03-12-2013 06:25 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the interviewer asks "Why do you want to work here?" don't answer "you'll find out!" and laugh maniacally
←Rate | 03-09-2013 09:17 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's a shame that people who start a sentence with, "I know it's none of my business," never leave it at that.
←Rate | 03-09-2013 08:46 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun thing to do #78 When you order a Coke and the waiter asks, "Is Pepsi okay?" shout "WHAT AM I, AN ANIMAL?"
←Rate | 03-07-2013 06:22 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The people that cheer and high five after their family member gives a dumb answer on Family Feud are better people than me
←Rate | 03-06-2013 07:39 by flinnie Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left