flinnie Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'flinnie': View All Messages
Page: 12 of 64

   messageicon There is no problem so big that it can't be solved with a little self-delusion.
←Rate | 07-24-2012 05:42 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once I'd like to read that someone died after a long battle with goblins or trolls.
←Rate | 01-06-2012 05:44 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon "At least you're not the lady who got her face eaten by the monkey." - My response to anyone who ever complains about anything
←Rate | 04-12-2012 08:11 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon For the past 20 years I've been trying to figure out how to "Stop" Collaborate" and "Listen"
←Rate | 04-13-2011 05:50 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Our new dog is going to be the *best* watchdog if a vacuum cleaner ever breaks into the house.
←Rate | 01-13-2012 05:13 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon please continue to tell me how the life you created for yourself is so miserable instead of taking actual steps to change it.
←Rate | 03-28-2012 09:37 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe if the Libyans spent less time firing into the air, the civil war could have ended 4 months ago.
←Rate | 10-20-2011 19:30 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Paranormal Activity 3, The Ring, and Poltergeist taught me anything, it's that little girls are absolutely terrifying.
←Rate | 10-21-2011 06:39 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon with all due respect, officer, you were also going that fast.
←Rate | 10-11-2013 05:43 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear radio stations, instead of 40 minutes of commercial free music, how about 5 minutes of good music?
←Rate | 08-16-2011 05:51 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got a letter from one of those traffic light cameras. No ticket; just a picture of me with the caption "Nice shirt, douche bag."
←Rate | 04-12-2011 07:54 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet I could win a gold medal for 'least amount of Olympics watched.' But I'll never know if I do.
←Rate | 02-08-2014 05:33 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could probably beat Usain Bolt if we were both trying to get the last ice cream sandwich.
←Rate | 08-09-2012 09:53 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Adam never let Eve boss him around. He wore the plants in the relationship.
←Rate | 06-07-2012 08:56 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who write "WASH ME" on dirty cars are the same people who think "Pull My Finger" is the most hilarious game ever
←Rate | 10-11-2011 10:20 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel ready to face the world as a responsible adult now that I've taken today's gummy vitamins.
←Rate | 06-02-2013 08:11 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today MTV turns 30, and yes I'm old enough to remember when they played music videos
←Rate | 08-01-2011 06:11 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: “Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?”
←Rate | 04-18-2014 06:37 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon A giraffe in a top hat walks into a bar and orders six martinis and shame on you for wanting a punchline. This giraffe needs help.
←Rate | 04-05-2012 12:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I finally meet the love of my life, I hope he appreciates all the time I spent following him and hiding in his bushes.
←Rate | 04-07-2012 08:30 by flinnie Comments (0)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left