Mickey Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Many people are afraid of heights. Not me, though. I'm afraid of widths.
←Rate | 01-17-2017 13:05 by Mickey Comments (1)  


   messageicon My girl has the crabs, I suggested fishnet stockings.
←Rate | 12-27-2016 14:19 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I become President, I'm going to change the name of the Rocky Mountains to the Smokey Mountains since weed is legal over there.
←Rate | 01-29-2016 09:18 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was notified that I've been chosen to be the new "Adam" on Mars. They've selected an Eve. I hope to G0d she remembers to bring the snake and the apple.
←Rate | 12-11-2012 21:48 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon One positive thing about internet dating: you're guaranteed to click with whoever you meet.
←Rate | 01-14-2012 07:14 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon An error occurred while not trying to add your sorry a$$ to my database. Please try again later.
←Rate | 03-06-2012 09:30 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I insisted that my girl accompany me on a fishing trip. That opened up a new can of worms.
←Rate | 05-21-2012 19:26 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon G0D must be a vegetarian. He never talks about eating meat...it's always "daily bread" this and "breaking bread" that and "take this bread and eat it to remember me by" etc. What a carb lover he turned out to be.
←Rate | 08-02-2012 10:03 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon The other day I went for a job interview, do you think it was a bad idea to ask if they ever press charges?
←Rate | 01-14-2012 15:03 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone posts this: "Last year was wonderful....this year has been pretty awesome too! Can't stop smiling...bring it on!" It actually means: "I didn't do j@ck $hit."
←Rate | 01-01-2013 09:45 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know how I didn't get pulled over by the cops last night. I was definitely driving under the influence of a good bl0wj0b.
←Rate | 01-01-2014 10:36 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Auto correct did me in. I've been seeing a girl who perspires a little when we have s-e-x. Hot. I typed, "Hi, sweety", and it changed it ti, "Hi, sweaty." Now she won't take my calls.
←Rate | 02-12-2014 10:52 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you think the other planets are mean and make Jupiter cry by calling him fat?
←Rate | 02-19-2012 10:42 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some of you are so antiquated in your thinking...that whenever I click on your timeline, I find myself in 2012. BC
←Rate | 06-19-2012 09:37 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon there really a benefit to listening to a Hip Hop CD in shuffle mode?
←Rate | 01-18-2012 12:28 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor needed a stool, a ur-ine, a se-men and a blood sample. I gave him my underwear.
←Rate | 02-02-2017 10:04 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon White Americans killing off other Americans is a psychological issue, not an ideological one.
←Rate | 02-06-2017 11:56 by Mickey Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm hungrier and more frustrated than a legless Ethiopian watching a donut roll down a hill.
←Rate | 05-10-2013 13:26 by Mickey Comments (0)  


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