Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I give great marriage advice if you want to be divorced.
←Rate | 01-08-2014 07:43 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone called me lazy today I almost objected.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 00:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am bored .Think I will go to the mall, find a great parking spot and sit in my car with my reverse lights on .
←Rate | 12-01-2014 01:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Samsung won't stop until they create a TV so curved it watches itself.
←Rate | 09-05-2014 09:15 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's cardio, and can I eat it?
←Rate | 04-22-2014 14:12 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just think of me as the guy next door. With a telescope.
←Rate | 11-16-2013 11:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Animals that walk on two legs like humans should wear underwear.
←Rate | 01-17-2014 15:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to spot single girls: If you hit on her and a man beats you, she has a boyfriend. If you hit her and she pepper sprays you, she's single.
←Rate | 09-08-2013 08:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't chase after girls... unless I have my inhaler with me.
←Rate | 10-23-2014 12:45 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hell is having a married couple tell you a story at the same time.
←Rate | 07-01-2014 01:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Panic Room is every room I walk into where there's people.
←Rate | 10-11-2013 13:31 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really dont understand why I’m still a virgin when I have never watched any Twilight Movie or bought any Justin Bieber Album in my whole life.
←Rate | 05-29-2013 15:09 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never cut off the minivans, they have nothing to live for.
←Rate | 11-22-2013 06:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so hungry I could eat a whole bottle of whiskey
←Rate | 11-24-2013 08:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Insomnia is your body's way of asking for an orgasm.
←Rate | 10-15-2013 12:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You women are beautiful creatures I love you all , but by god you scare the sh*t out of me with the way you feed on souls and happiness.
←Rate | 05-27-2013 13:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All of my best ideas involve jail time.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 02:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love is...never having to say “wrong hole”
←Rate | 10-30-2017 02:48 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe if you tried educating yourself as much as you try getting those abs people will like you more.
←Rate | 05-24-2013 12:52 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pants are for people with something to hide.
←Rate | 06-02-2013 13:07 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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