Eddy Funny Status Messages

   I like to be treated like a king... so I thought of going to Burger King & lying about it being my birthday

   automatic doors make me feel like a jedi

   too bad Mr. Rogers isnt still alive to have facebook & do the games...then he really can be our neighbor

   why is it when you go to a restaurant their radio is never playing the song "ding, fries are done" from family guy?...seems like a catchy tune for a restaurant

   theres too many car dealers around so I'm gonna go different... I'm gonna sell unicycles. i'll be the only one in the region so I'll get all the sales

   we stuff the turkey but in the end the turkey stuffs us

   i'm not an alcoholic, i'm a drunk... alcoholics go to meetings

   Happy labor day to all the moms out there....oh, you mean that's not what it means?

   youtube is red, facebook is blue, I'm so lonely with nothing to do

   i wonder if the Pillsbury Doughboy has a Facebook account &when his friends "poke" him he makes the little noise like in the commercials

   does fantasizing about the cheerleaders count as "fantasy football"?

   kids have to be confused by halloween...rest of the year ur not supposed to talk to strangers or accept anything from strangers...on halloween you say "trick or treat" to a stranger & accept their candy

   during the local christmas parade tonight, the local hospital had a float that read "more than a hospital"...yeah, they're also a morgue

   I bet there was a lot of red solo cups used last night

   i feel sorry for future generation college kids.....we buy our books & can sell them back...in the future it will be a kindle download you cant sell back

   tonight the sky will be like most of my family.....pretty well lit up

   if people around you are being negative, be extra positive & cancel them out

   to the lady in the office complaining about her man.... you can't spell MANAGEMENT without MANAGE MEN. if you can't manage 1 guy don't expect a promotion to be in charge of 10 men

   Lets send the coronavirus tiger to Carole Baskin

   did you know that Julie Andrews will no longer endorse cheap lipstick?.... It crumbles easily & makes her breath smell. she explained "the super color fragil lipstick crumbles easily & gives me halitosis"