Funny Status Messages Search

X When Bill Gates feels like a million bucks, he's having a crappy day.

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-12-2012 15:28 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X So say some animals *were* injured in the making of a film. Is that listed in the credits or what? "Bob hurt one bird. He's very sorry."

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-24-2012 10:50 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I haven't showered today and can smell yesterday on me. But I kicked ass yesterday. So I might just ride this smell out.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-04-2012 10:46 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X There's some consolation in the fact that even though your dreams haven't come true.... neither have your nightmares.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-25-2011 18:44 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Dear clever comeback, can you come BEFORE the argument is over. Thanks!

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-18-2011 09:39 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I think if my rich neighbor realized just how awesome of a party he is going to have at his house tonight, he wouldn't leave for vacation.

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-21-2011 10:17 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X The festive hustle and bustle of the holiday season sure does bring out the best in no one.

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-22-2011 11:14 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Today, I found out that ‘Made in China' stickers are made in Korea. Mind = BLOWN!

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-02-2011 10:07 by SuthernFukr Comments (1)

X Filling out my doctors info sheet, listed my twitter followers as my emergency contacts.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-29-2011 09:51 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X The road less traveled does not have 3G. I'm turning around.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-04-2011 10:38 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X There are two types of people in the world: those who know how to handle stress and those who need bail money.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-02-2011 13:48 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I'll never just put the seat down; the lid's going down with it. If I gotta work, so does she.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-03-2011 13:27 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X "Ramen". - Scooby Doo, finishing a prayer

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-09-2012 14:03 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X 10 million people share the same birthday as you. Your personalized horoscope means sh!t.

<--Rate | Submitted: 01-23-2012 11:09 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Whoever wants to kill Casey Anthony, should probably do so in Florida.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-06-2011 12:27 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X The two words that get me in the most trouble are "Why Not?"

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-10-2011 14:48 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Poodles aren't as absorbent as they look.

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-13-2011 11:13 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X They say dress for the job you want not the job you have, so today I'm dressed like the Pope.

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-05-2011 13:18 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I've had this bamboo plant on my desk for five weeks and I've yet to catch a single panda. :(

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-23-2012 10:31 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Vodka is the drink of feelings. Whiskey is the drink of revenge against feelings. I'll take one of each, please.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-11-2011 10:35 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)