father OR dad Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Police officer: "license and registration" Me: "DO YOU KNOW WHO MY FATHER IS!?" Police officer: No Me: "me neither".
←Rate | 06-09-2012 07:51 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon People joke about Bieber Fever. Don't - Sigourney Weaver Fever killed my father.
←Rate | 05-15-2012 09:31 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Father's Day....the most confusing day in the ghetto.
←Rate | 06-22-2015 14:14 by CWW Comments (0)  


   messageicon I met my ex-girlfriend’s son today and told him about how I once auditioned to be his father.
←Rate | 01-01-2015 15:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a guy on Maury found out he was not the father and said "it dont take blood to be a daddy" but actually it does. all dads have to have blood
←Rate | 12-27-2014 07:12 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm wondering...did Bruce Jenner get a father's day gift on father's day, a mother's day gift on Mother's day, or gifts on both days? If he gets gifts on both days, then this all makes sense now.
←Rate | 06-20-2016 20:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Father Jim inspired me to confess with a lighter attitude. From now on, it's "Bless me, Father, these sins are gonna crack you up!"
←Rate | 11-10-2011 09:36 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coworker: I have an announcement to make. We are expecting twins. Me: Congrats on having 2 kids with the same father!
←Rate | 07-13-2016 10:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon * A cheap father told his little son that is nightlight only made it easier for the monsters to find him.
←Rate | 01-04-2020 07:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Dad, thanks for not pulling out. Happy Father's Day!
←Rate | 06-17-2012 07:15 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just imagine if Usain Bolt was your father and you were trying to run away from a beating.
←Rate | 08-10-2012 03:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon loving him some father son and holy spirit right. I love ya Jesus
←Rate | 04-13-2011 18:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon would like to thank maury povich for letting so many know if they are the father and can celebrate this day
←Rate | 06-19-2011 09:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my father called me an asswipe, I said the wipe didnt fall far from the ass
←Rate | 02-18-2012 21:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good mourning...... I hope everyone had a Happy Father's Day, oh..everyone except Jerry Sandusky!!
←Rate | 06-18-2012 10:40 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I want for Father's Day is the last freakin donut.
←Rate | 06-13-2013 22:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
←Rate | 03-26-2011 17:29 by mark Comments (0)  


   messageicon Found out my father is voting for Hillary, which is strange since he died in 2004
←Rate | 10-22-2016 11:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon forgot to put the seat belt on my 8-year-old boy this morning. "You are an irresponsible father!" Someone shouted "Who said that? I shouted. "Stop the car, son."
←Rate | 02-19-2012 10:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Luke, I am your father." - Darth Vader, after he found out Luke has money.
←Rate | 11-16-2013 22:32 by Audrey J Comments (0)  




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