Mickey Funny Status Messages



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Page: 11 of 12

   messageicon Do you think the other planets are mean and make Jupiter cry by calling him fat?
←Rate | 02-19-2012 10:42 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Husband bought condoms in various flavors. "Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on, and you guess the flavor." As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in her mouth and says: "Gorgonzola!" "Wait, it's not on yet."
←Rate | 02-17-2012 13:04 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon The way I see it, EVERY Friday is Good Friday.
←Rate | 02-17-2012 06:27 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm convinced. Some peoples' brains are still on dial-up.
←Rate | 02-16-2012 19:06 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon The temps here (Orlando, FL) were in the low 30s three days ago. Today, the highs are supposed to hit the mid 80s. At exactly what point in time was Mother Nature replaced by The Three Stooges?
←Rate | 02-16-2012 09:14 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish folks would stop these Passive Aggressive attempts at trying to guilt us into advancing their religious, social, or political causes by ending the posts with, "Let's see how many of my true friends will post this." PI$$ OFF!
←Rate | 02-15-2012 09:59 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon February 15th. The Black Friday for Chocoholics.
←Rate | 02-15-2012 06:26 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's 39 degrees, which tells me one thing. That effin' Groundhog knows more about the weather than those clowns on TV.
←Rate | 02-13-2012 06:19 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Bible says, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife." It doesn't say anything about the one who lives across town.
←Rate | 02-10-2012 19:59 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Honeymooners, The Flintstones, The King Of Queens, The Simpsons and The Family Guy. They all star big dudes with thin chicks. THANKS FOR RUINING IT FOR US, MIKE N' MOLLY!
←Rate | 02-08-2012 17:12 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone else have the same thought that I did the first time they discovered ma$turbation? "Damn. I don't think I'll EVER leave the house again."
←Rate | 02-07-2012 09:51 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon When it comes to the Super Bowl, you know why everybody mostly talks about the commercials, the half-time show, and what parties they're going to? Because let's face it, the game itself is usually a snooze-fest.
←Rate | 02-03-2012 10:58 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Perhaps when facebook goes public, they'll be able to afford servers that don't remind me of the unreliable one's who work the graveyard shift at Denny's.
←Rate | 02-02-2012 10:15 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Olive Garden says: "When you're here you're family". I won't go there out of fear of a woman resembling my grandmother running out of the kitchen and throwing a shoe at my head.
←Rate | 02-01-2012 08:12 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why didn't God use the same anchoring system for head hair as he did for nose hair?
←Rate | 02-01-2012 05:36 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hellooooo....It's 2012.....Where's my flying car already?....Helloooooo.....
←Rate | 01-30-2012 07:46 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just thought of something. What happens if you become addicted to cold turkey?
←Rate | 01-29-2012 20:03 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me and my recliner...we go way back.
←Rate | 01-29-2012 11:52 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I don't know why poor people hate me. There's always a new refrigerator box in my front yard for them to use."~ Rush Limbaugh
←Rate | 01-28-2012 09:15 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear fake profile with bikini pics that just friend requested me: 1. I have a great memory for hot chicks; I don't know you. 2. 52 of our "mutual friends" are idiots. 3.They're all guys......color me surprised.
←Rate | 01-28-2012 09:04 by Mickey Comments (0)  



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