huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always write: 'last warning, you have a week to get the money together.'
←Rate | 10-24-2013 21:27 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook is the perfect tool for keeping in touch with people that you lost touch with for very good reasons.
←Rate | 10-27-2013 08:03 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's have a moment of silence for all these guys that tried to walk across power lines but fell because someone tied their shoes together.
←Rate | 10-30-2013 05:28 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon We live in a society that's the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones.
←Rate | 11-05-2013 04:55 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon For just once in my life I want my phone to ring and for someone on the other end to ask if I'm on a 'secure line'
←Rate | 11-07-2013 20:31 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The jerk store called. Instead of texting. Typical
←Rate | 11-15-2013 18:49 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Long story short, I love summaries
←Rate | 11-19-2013 05:33 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's no way I can run that far.
←Rate | 11-21-2013 05:39 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon m old enough to remember when the lamest thing in the world was to take pictures of yourself, like you had no friends
←Rate | 11-22-2013 05:35 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was JFK killed by a lone gunman or was there a conspiracy? Compelling new evidence proves beyond doubt that it makes no difference at all, he's still dead
←Rate | 11-23-2013 20:37 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cringing in regret is my cardio
←Rate | 11-28-2013 01:57 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, which one of you is going to be the subject of your local news' annual turkey fryer accident story?
←Rate | 11-28-2013 02:03 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If knowing is half the battle, maybe its time to admit that you are losing the war.
←Rate | 11-28-2013 02:16 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
←Rate | 11-30-2013 07:12 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Airplanes have now banned tweezers. I think anyone who can hijack a plane with tweezers deserves the plane.
←Rate | 12-02-2013 12:14 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I learned what calculators did, I immediately cleared the "math" part of my brain to make room for more movie quotes.
←Rate | 12-03-2013 05:44 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1. Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
←Rate | 12-04-2013 05:43 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm doing laundry for the whole family. (Not my family - I'm at my neighbors. They're going to be very surprised.)
←Rate | 12-05-2013 22:05 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is normally when Tony Romo is visited by 3 ghosts. The ghost of December Failures past, present and future.
←Rate | 12-07-2013 07:31 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just told someone that I have to pee pee. It's hard toggling back and forth between being a parent and being a dude.
←Rate | 12-10-2013 05:43 by Huck Comments (0)  




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