Mickey Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm the proud grandfather of a new baby boy. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
←Rate | 01-17-2017 13:02 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Many people are afraid of heights. Not me, though. I'm afraid of widths.
←Rate | 01-17-2017 13:05 by Mickey Comments (1)  


   messageicon The only thing to believe in is to not believe in anything.
←Rate | 01-17-2017 23:03 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd be all for the Women's March protest if they added, "off a cliff" to the name of the event.
←Rate | 01-20-2017 07:47 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel an originality rush coming on. Think I'll make a dog face on Snapchat.
←Rate | 01-23-2017 10:41 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm really not a "know it all"... For instance, up until recently, I thought cunnilingus was an Irish Airline.
←Rate | 01-23-2017 10:52 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon n't the bigger question: How many people attended the Hillary Inauguration?
←Rate | 01-24-2017 03:46 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm in a book store and a liberal clerk helped me. I asked for the new Trump book on his immigration policy. She said, "F-you! Get out and stay out! I go, "Yes, that's it, do you have it in paperback?"
←Rate | 01-25-2017 10:08 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I were an actual snowflake, ie the feathery ice crystal with a sixfold symmetry, I'd be highly insulted.
←Rate | 01-26-2017 08:05 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I lost my virginity when I was 15. It was smokin' hot until I bit her thigh and all the air leaked out.
←Rate | 01-26-2017 10:51 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Trump is AIDS in human form, then Obama is the a$$hole he got it from.
←Rate | 01-26-2017 11:34 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon This country needed a good weeding out. And Trump is the one who brought the weed whacker.
←Rate | 01-27-2017 13:20 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the difference between a druggist and a drug dealer? One sells drugs LEGALLY. What's the difference between an immigrant who came to the US lawfully, and one who snuck in? One's here LEGALLY. See?
←Rate | 01-28-2017 15:15 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon What bothers me most about liberal women, is that none of them are hot enough to be this stupid.
←Rate | 01-29-2017 13:15 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember the protests back in 2011 when Obama stopped the Iraqi refugees from entering the States for six months? Neither do I.
←Rate | 01-30-2017 08:22 by Mickey Comments (3)  


   messageicon Canada: Compared to the USA, it's the North American equivalent to the kids' table at a holiday dinner.
←Rate | 01-30-2017 12:35 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon South Americans. They gave the world coffee and tomatoes. It was all downhill from there.
←Rate | 01-30-2017 12:43 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do President Trump and Tony the Tiger have in common? They're both orange and make things GREEAAT!
←Rate | 01-31-2017 07:57 by Mickey Comments (2)  


   messageicon I wish people would stop saying the husbands of the women who marched didn't get a sandwich that day. Have you seen those women? No way any of them have a husband.
←Rate | 01-31-2017 09:59 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon You want to gauge how dumb people are these days? No, don't look at Dept. of Education stats, SAT scores or even IQ's. Listen closely to someone ahead of you at a fast food drive thru place an order.
←Rate | 02-01-2017 10:45 by Mickey Comments (0)  




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