Abraham Lincoln Funny Status Messages

   I just bought a television! It's amazing the price difference between a 47 inch T.V. and a 50 inch T.V. is a couple hundred dollars! In real life for an extra 3 inches I would pay thousands!!!

   Remember when you were younger that old guy at the pool that swam laps and yelled at all the kids to get off the ropes!!!

   If you don't want a Sarcastic answer don't ask a Stupid Question!

   The first person that started hiccuping must have been scared to death!

   If I didn't have internet I'd be asleep 4hrs earlier every night!

   This is a list of people who asked for your opinion.................

   I haven't spoken to my wife in 3days because she hates when I interupt her!

   No matter how old you are an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a Sword!

   I walked into the Dentist's office and he asked me what the problem was and I said ''Doc, I think I'm a Giant Moth!'' He said ''You need a Psychiatrist not a Dentist, why did you come in here?'' I told him ''The light was on!!!''

   Olympian's earn their medals every 4yrs........In Afghanistan our servicemen earn their medals every day!!!

   It's funny how the Chinese are competing to win back medals they probably made a month ago!

   I don't know what hurts my wrist more, playing volleyball or watching women's volleyball!

   How many divorced men does it atke to change a light bulb?......No one knows they never keep the house!

   I married my wife for her looks........just not the ones she's been giving me lately!

   The Mars Rover reports there are only 167 Starbucks on Mars!

   Funny how when I see someone from High School I suddenly hve a great job and am trying to stick a key in a car I in the parking lot that I could never afford!

   Marys dragging me to some play tonight #bored #killme