father OR dad Funny Status Messages

   The doctor just told my girlfriend and I that the baby is going to be born prematurely. Like father, like son.

   If you're for gay marriage then you are also for hurting children. Kids need a mother and a father:not two dads or two moms. There is no arguing this fact.

   My girl's father got mad at me, for writing my name in piss on the side of his house. I said "what about your daughter sir, it was her handwriting"

   Babe I'm Pregnant" Guys be like: ♕ KEEP CALM I'll HELP YOU FIND THE FATHER

   There have been more collect calls in history on Father's Day than on any other day of the year.

   My dad's ability to drive with one hand while reaching back and smacking the right child, somehow always impressed me... Happy father's day dad!

   A pregnancy test that also tells who the father is. But instead of a stick, you pee on Maury Povich. Don't worry, he's into it. TRUST ME

   Our Father who art in Chicago. Hockey be thy name. Thy will be done, the Cup will be won, on the ice as well as in the stands.

   If you have never said "Luke, I am your father" into an empty pringles can, then you probably should get on that

   Belichick, Brady, & Tebow: The NFL's Father, Son, & Holy Ghost.

   All I want for Father's Day is the last freakin donut.

   Dear Dad. Thanks for not pulling out. Happy Father's Day!

   The ONLY 2 acceptable excuses a man can't spend time with his child is if he's DEAD or IN JAIL, Happy Father's Day

   Father's Day; the most confusing day in a trailer park where chances are your father might also be your older brother.

   For Father's Day, I just want to wear my Crocs and Ed Hardy shirt and still be loved.

   In honor of Father's Day, I came up with a bourbon and cookie diet that is going to make me so rich... And fat... And drunk... Well, at least two of those

   Dear God, Happy Father's Day.

   Remember to wish your dad a happy Father's Day, as well as thanking him for not wiping you up in a tissue.

   I would wish my father a Happy Father's Day on Facebook but I blocked him

   father's day is a great time to stop into a strip club to remind yourself that you could have done worse as a father.