nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   has decided that TVs are only made for two things, football and porn. Both are actually very different, one is were sweaty men pile on top of each other and the other one is just football.

   "I wanted to watch football on NBC but this figure skating they're showing is cool too". --said no one ever

   Watching football shows me just how enthusiastic and pretty beer drinkers are. According to beer ads.

   I used my husband’s deodorant, so if you need me to explain how to throw a football I can do that for you.

   Not sure if I just watched the Superbowl or a three hour commercial?

   Lakers...Celtics....Lakers......Celtics...............um....Lakers.....Celtics............WHEN DA HELL DOES FOOTBALL season start!!!

   You know who's going to take the title between the Celtics & Lakers......Football season that's who.

   Dear Football, I miss you already. Maybe we could get together sometime soon - just the two of us. Please don't keep me waiting until August. I love you

   How do you know if someone doesn't watch the Superbowl? Don't worry they'll announce it on Facebook!

   When did it become acceptable to slap another man's ass during football?? And why, oh why, is there no evidence of his reaction??

   "Please scream as loud as you possibly can," says the dentist to his patient. "Why should I do that?" "The waiting room's full and the football game's on in ten minutes."

   Did I miss the Superbowl again? Darn that's like 20 years in a row.

   The Tide commercials during the Superbowl were not a hit with older folks but the kids are them up

   Half the world is in a race war and the other half is running around catching Pokemon with their phones, and I'm just sitting here on my couch waiting for football season.

   Since the Superbowl likes to promote has-been artists, I take it we'll be seeing Justin Bieber in next year's half time show

   After Colorado legalized marijuana, Peyton Manning bought 20 Papa John's stores in Colorado. If this football thing doesn't work out, I say he's got a bright future in finance

   "Can't You Just Let Me Watch The Damn Football Game?" ~~ the Working Title of my new Childrens book, probably....

   Waiting for everyone in this church service to bow their head in prayer so I can update my fantasy football roster.

   Spike the football, hang on the goal post, hump the wind, do the funky chicken, get in ur opponents face & gloat but for God's sake don't pray on a football field, that;s inappropriate. I say do ur thang Tebow. Maybe the Colts need to do a little Tebowing

   Went out tonight, saw many women with hot costumes including Sexy Snow White, Naughty Nurse, Hot Cop, Horny Devil, French Maid, etc....but not one Will Leave You Alone During The Football Game and Give You a BJ during Halftime. The search continues...