andrew jackson Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'andrew jackson': View All Messages
Page: 10 of 24

   messageicon that a selfie or did you just photobomb a picture of your filthy bathroom?
←Rate | 10-16-2014 05:42 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mario Bros. Plumbing ★☆☆☆☆ (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfriend.
←Rate | 10-13-2014 06:33 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doritos has a new flavor named Street Taco. Which used to be my rap name.
←Rate | 10-10-2014 22:10 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon The number of people that confuse 'to' and 'too' is two darn high.
←Rate | 10-10-2014 05:24 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon The 78th Rule of Fight Club: When it’s your turn to bring the snacks, be respectful of your peers’ food allergies.
←Rate | 10-08-2014 05:24 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dream about naps.
←Rate | 10-08-2014 05:23 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Today Joseph cleaned the house, made dinner, and was really cool about some crazy news I had. Best. Husband. Ever." -If Mary had Facebook
←Rate | 10-01-2014 05:25 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
←Rate | 09-30-2014 05:26 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Nothing is impossible.” I disagree. I’m doing nothing right now… it’s totally possible.
←Rate | 09-29-2014 04:37 by andrew jackson Comments (1)  


   messageicon I run a support group for cats that have never had their pics posted on the internet.
←Rate | 09-25-2014 12:13 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon if I could trade places with anyone for a day it would have to be on the day I die. I wouldn't want to be me on that day
←Rate | 09-23-2014 05:33 by andrew jackson Comments (1)  


   messageicon No magician can do a trick that impresses me as much as that 'take off my bra and make it appear out of my sleeve' thing that girls do
←Rate | 09-23-2014 05:27 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon If attacked by a bear you should play dead. If that doesn't work play "Total Eclipse Of The Heart". Bears love that song.
←Rate | 09-22-2014 05:28 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm feeling vulnerable tonight. I wasn't able to validate my personality with a BuzzFeed quiz today.
←Rate | 09-20-2014 05:42 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do they even offer 2014 as an option when selecting your birth date? Like you’re fresh out of the womb ready to join Gmail.
←Rate | 09-17-2014 05:30 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to switch my insurance from Geico to Allstate, then Statefarm, then back to Geico. If i'm correct, they should owe me $950.
←Rate | 09-15-2014 05:15 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll be updating my status telepathically the rest of the day... so if you think of something funny? That was me.
←Rate | 09-13-2014 10:43 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon If they're the champions why will they keep on fightin' 'til the end? They've been named champions. Was it just the conference championship?
←Rate | 09-12-2014 05:51 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once in a while, someone amazing will come into your life. And here I am!
←Rate | 09-12-2014 05:29 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I've seen fire & I've seen rain" -James Taylor & LITERALLY EVERY HUMAN
←Rate | 09-11-2014 05:35 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left