MWC Funny Status Messages
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the worst part of being naked is not having pockets
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11-26-2012 07:27 by MWC
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My bank lets me send a text message and it'll text back with my balance. It's a cool feature but I didn't think the LOL was necessary.
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11-18-2012 21:45 by MWC
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I wonder if Woody and Buzz have ever met any of Andy's Mom's toys. They probably have the same names.
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11-18-2012 21:35 by MWC
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I want a Breast Cancer Awareness t-shirt that say "Yes they're fake, My real ones tried to kill me!"
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11-18-2012 21:28 by MWC
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As a kid I remember my dad taking us to a hill and rolling us down in tires. Them were Good Years
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11-18-2012 21:03 by MWC
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Just did my morning run!! (from the bed to the bathroom) I feel so invigorated.
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11-15-2012 07:56 by MWC
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I praise these men and women of this proud and God fearing nation they are so important to the history of this country with out them we would be under someone else's rule. I thank you mlitary men and women. Posted to the idiot who didn't sign his name!!
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11-11-2012 20:41 by MWC
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""What does it mean when a woman is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.""
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11-11-2012 19:34 by MWC
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In every successful relationship the MANalways has the last word,,,"Yes Dear"
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11-11-2012 15:52 by MWC
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Just a reminder that you don't have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking.
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11-11-2012 15:50 by MWC
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Once again its friday I know its only been 7 days since the last one but feels like its been a week....
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11-09-2012 07:57 by MWC
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Baby with a face like yours, I bet you just beat off all the guys!
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11-08-2012 22:48 by MWC
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I don't care how old you are, the only safe way to guarantee the monster under the bed doesn't grab you is to use the run and jump method.
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11-08-2012 11:38 by MWC
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Well the good news is Obama won nothing will change, The bad news is Obama won nothing will change.
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11-07-2012 07:40 by MWC
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If I had 10 nutter butter cookies and you took 5 away, what would you have...That's right, a black eye an a broke hand!
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11-01-2012 22:04 by MWC
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Don't get my attitude confused with my personality. My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are.
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11-01-2012 18:30 by MWC
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Man that wind is really blowing hard out. I seen a chicken lay the same egg three times..
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10-30-2012 07:24 by MWC
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Hey Bill, do you talk to your wife during sex..."Only if there is a phone handy!!"
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10-28-2012 15:46 by MWC
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Sometimes when you cry, no one see's your tears. Sometimes when your in pain no one see's your hurt. Sometimes when your worried no one see's your stress. Sometimes when your happy no one see's your smile. But fart one time and the whole world knows.
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10-27-2012 10:21 by MWC
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Useing the bathroom in Taco Bell, an the guy in the stall next to me has some bad diarrhea, stank'in up the place...I almost couldn't eat my last super burrito!
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10-26-2012 19:54 by MWC
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