Eddy Funny Status Messages

   too much weed & you're "high".....too much beer & you're "drunk".....do both at same time & I become a "HUNK"

   all my teachers know computers....they used to code "C++" on my school papers

   the FDA can approve breast implants so why cant they decide that medicinal weed is ok everywhere?.... I haven't seen an autopsy where "small boobs" was cause of death.

   why don't people do a "taser challenge" next & see what its like for epileptic people to suddenly have your arms & legs moving around uncontrollably?

   Legos are practice for when you get older & buy Ikea furniture

   if people around you are being negative, be extra positive & cancel them out

   if I hang bat stuff all over my "man cave", will I have a "bat man cave"? .....Alfred, get me a drink

   Ebola guy in Atlanta .....if that does end up being an outbreak, everyone will at 1st just think it's The Walking Dead walkers.

   If you mix Jack Daniels with a Smirnoff, are you drinking a jack-off?

   life is just one big mess.....OCD people hate messes....therefore OCD people hate life

   I like to buy someone a birthday gift at CVS so then I can make a ribbon out of the receipt ‪#‎recycle‬

   I can't wait until I'm old enough to get my own zombie .......a lot of people at the retirement home have walkers

   ever wonder if someone trusts you? grab the hammer & say "hold the nail"

   tonight the sky will be like most of my family.....pretty well lit up

   sitting here watching "102 Dalmations" & I wonder if Lady Gaga got her fashion sense from Cruella De Vil

   Mike Tyson , Miguel Olivo .....if the zombies do come, it looks like they're starting as athletes 1st

   it's a little ironic when a gay guy gets drafted to the Rams....im sure he does a lot of ramming

   I like to be treated like a king... so I thought of going to Burger King & lying about it being my birthday

   you can call me "Han" cause I've been solo for so long now

   the irony is a group of blacks picked the white cotton guy out.....for life