@clarkysj Funny Status Messages

   Pain is nature's way of saying "Don't do that." - Painkillers are mankind's way of saying "F*ck it ... go ahead"

   Before you send me any sick jokes about that murderer in the North East don't bother. It's not even rauolmoatly funny.

   Fact of the day... no such thing as an American site unless the website is about America. Football is what's going on in the World Cup... England will wake up and beat Slovenia: Fact!

   Precision. Concentration. Patience & Fearlessness. 4 skills I possess whilst shavin my nuts that I wish I could apply to other aspects of my life!

   donates £2 a month to starving Africans - and what do they do? Go out and buy a f-kin trumpet!

   giving a warning to America.... Wayne Rooney.

   looking forward to July 12th... England 4?5?6? - USA 0

   Why don't blind men skydive?...........Because it scares the sh*t out of the dog.