Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm feeling adventurous, so I'm going to go to sleep and try to dodge Freddy Krueger. Wish me luck!
←Rate | 06-07-2010 14:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a middle-of-the-road kind of guy. Maybe that's why I get honked at all the time.
←Rate | 06-07-2010 14:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage is like a casino... You go in all excited and optimistic, you stumble out broke, drunk and talking to yourself.
←Rate | 06-07-2010 14:18 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The BP president said that the company would survive. That's like someone running over your dog and saying, "Don't worry, my car is fine."
←Rate | 06-07-2010 15:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coffee can make you jumpy and irritable. There are also negative effects.
←Rate | 06-07-2010 21:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think “be yourself” is about the worst advice you can give to some people.
←Rate | 06-07-2010 21:13 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just taped magnets to the bottom of my empty coffee cup and attached it to the top of my car... Can't wait to see how many people will try and flag me down...
←Rate | 06-07-2010 21:26 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not saying we ought to misbehave, but we should at least look as though we could.
←Rate | 06-08-2010 22:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not saying we ought to misbehave, but we should at least look as though we could.
←Rate | 06-09-2010 12:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.
←Rate | 06-10-2010 04:55 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Summer: the time of year when parents realize just how grossly underpaid teachers actually are.
←Rate | 06-10-2010 05:13 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon I don't like exercise so I'm not going to walk a mile in your shoes. I'll judge you standing right here.
←Rate | 06-10-2010 05:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone is always asking something for a friend. Friends are the most curious, ignorant ba$tard$, aren't they?
←Rate | 06-10-2010 05:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I appreciate the police escort, but shouldn't they be in front of me?
←Rate | 06-10-2010 05:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think that all I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power.
←Rate | 06-10-2010 05:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since the world is ending in 2012, I've decided to buy everything at places with a "Don't pay until 2013" plan.
←Rate | 06-10-2010 05:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off everything and let the problem solve itself?
←Rate | 06-10-2010 05:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
←Rate | 06-10-2010 05:41 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if the CEO of Classmates.com cries every time he sees the word "Facebook."
←Rate | 06-10-2010 05:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook: A place where all your past mistakes will eventually try to befriend you.
←Rate | 06-10-2010 05:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  




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