Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I really like what you've done with your crazy.
←Rate | 01-11-2014 11:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think some of these suicidal people are just attention whores. If you really want to jump off a building or bridge you should do it around midnight when there is no one to try and stop you.
←Rate | 01-16-2014 11:07 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Animals that walk on two legs like humans should wear underwear.
←Rate | 01-17-2014 15:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your tongue is the best alarm clock.
←Rate | 01-19-2014 10:28 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look me in the lazy eye and tell me you love me. Other eye.
←Rate | 01-23-2014 12:01 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every date is the first date if you get black out drunk every time.
←Rate | 01-23-2014 14:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some couples experience a deep, unconditional love that transcends words and exists as happiness in its purest form. I have that with vodka.
←Rate | 01-25-2014 02:52 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have accepted Nicki Minaj’s music as hip hop then you can’t *itch about Macklemore winning the best rap album award at the Grammys. You can't lower the bar for one person and deny another.
←Rate | 01-27-2014 05:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Brain: Let’s dance. Legs: We don’t do that. Tequila: Just give it a minute.
←Rate | 01-27-2014 08:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember "The Simpsons" episode when Homer won a Grammy, then threw it into a dumpster. A bum picked it up, and even he didn't want it.
←Rate | 01-27-2014 23:38 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're right, vodka. This IS the perfect time to use a hammer.
←Rate | 01-28-2014 12:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Facebook s tatus update so confusing you turn your radio down to read it.
←Rate | 01-31-2014 08:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh the irony of these ugly and fat mother’s insisting and demanding that their sons only marry a woman who is beautiful and slender.
←Rate | 02-02-2014 07:48 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who put the oral in immoral?
←Rate | 02-03-2014 12:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when the whole Internet mourns someone’s death & I have to Google them to find out if they were a politician, an athlete or a Muppet.
←Rate | 02-04-2014 12:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women who say the quickest way to a mans heart is through his stomach hasn't seen his browser history.
←Rate | 02-04-2014 13:08 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A taser, but for people who say, "everything happens for a reason."
←Rate | 02-07-2014 00:06 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women have no issue with their man having a female friend *as long as she's elderly, obese or severely disabled
←Rate | 02-10-2014 01:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In Kanyes defense, you would be an a$$hole too if you had to hang out with Kanye all the time.
←Rate | 02-10-2014 01:43 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I enjoy long romantic walks to my liquor cabinet.
←Rate | 02-10-2014 11:56 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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