BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Username or Password Incorrect” You couldn't just tell me which one?

   This morning I put Red Bull into my coffee maker instead of water and now I can see noises.

   After 10 Dos Equis beers, I think I'm the most interesting man in the world

   I solve many of my problems by simply ignoring them

   I just took the garbage out. In 3D

   I don't hate you, I never could. I don't regret meeting you, I never will. But I do regret our relationship. It destroyed our friendship!

   I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.

   I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.

   ❒Taken ❒Single ✔ Dont care anymore

   I have to constantly remind myself of the fact that life is too short to waste it on getting mad at idiots

   A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.

   There's always that one person who makes you wanna raise your middle finger every time they speak to you

   Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad, I'll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.

   Old is when your sweetie says, “Lets go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Honey, I can't do both!”

   I love you like a fat kid loves cake, but lately that fat kid has been on a diet.

   Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke

   Facebook should change the "Friends" section to "Friends & People I've Only Made Eye Contact With".

   God puts people in my life for a reason... & removes them from my life for a better reason.

   Lying in bed, wondering if it's worth it to get up and pee.

   *sends text message* *gets a reply 45min later* "Oh so it's like that? Ok, then I'm gonna take twice as long to text back!"