Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   ...today's the day we mother's get some relief from the curse OUR mother's handed down when they told us "one day you'll have a kid JUST LIKE YOU!!" Have a great MOM'S DAY everyone!! =D

   I guess Mother's Day is kind of awkward to a woman who has had multiple abortions. Thanks mom for not pulling the plug on me! Happy Mothers Day. :)

   Happy Mother's Day to all the Mother's that have touched my life and an unhappy one to all the Motherf#*ckers that I encounter everyday!

   Mother's Day, the celebration after those three little words..."I am late."

   If you have a mom or wife that is an awesome mother don't post it here....get ur lazy ass up and go tell her in person!!

   Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs… since the payment is pure love.

   A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.

   My mother taught me about JUSTICE. “One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you”.

   My mother taught me about RECEIVING. “You are going to get it when you get home!”

   ...and then the doctor slapped my little bottom and handed me to her. - How I Met My Mother

   Shout out to all the moms who spent their whole Mother's Day thinking and worrying, "If this dummy ever asks for a paternity test, I can kiss the good life goodbye”

   Dear Mother-in-law, "Don't teach me how to handle my children, I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement"

   Alicia Silverstone named her son Bear Blue? I wonder if she would have liked it if her mother named her Racoon Red? WTF is wrong with these celebs........

   I hope all you moms out there had a great Mother's Day! (If you're not a mom but would like to be, message me for details)

   okay mother nature, enough with the rain! I get the fact your sad, but you had to realize Joanie and Chachi werent gonna last forever.

   Mother Nature can be cruel sometimes. If I ever meet her I'm gonna snatch her purse. Old B*tch

   My mother told me that when I was born I was so surprised that I didn't talk for a year an a half.

   So apparently I'm getting judged on the weekend... like how I get judged by human beings everyday... including my mother.... and my mother is much more scary....

   still looking for his future mother-in-law with only one very nice and sexy daugther

   trading his mother-in-law for a stud service and willing to add cash