Mickey Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The Daytona 500 is over. And so we wait for its return much in the same manner we do all once a year occurrences...like the Flu and the April 15th tax deadline.
←Rate | 02-24-2013 21:52 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Indecent Proposal: Movie-1993 A billionaire offers a married couple a million dollars if he can spend one night with the wife. Indecent Proposal 2013: A billionaire offers me a million dollars if I can stay off facebook for one night.
←Rate | 05-16-2013 09:16 by mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never order a Happy Meal. I order three. And yes, I get the toy. I eat it for the fiber.
←Rate | 01-05-2013 19:45 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever notice the word "bed" looks like one?
←Rate | 10-25-2012 10:01 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon there such a thing as a Corned Beef and Cabbage Calzone?
←Rate | 03-17-2012 08:36 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon As if my self esteem couldn't get any lower, when I got in the shower this morning, it laughed at me.
←Rate | 08-15-2012 11:25 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Really now... a show called: "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."
←Rate | 01-20-2012 06:04 by Mickey Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm such a maverick. I refuse to make Sun tea. I'm making Moon tea, and let me tell you...that $hit's been on the back porch for 8 years and it STILL ain't done.
←Rate | 08-03-2012 09:25 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone I know just had a great great grandchild. That kid comes from a long line of fucl<ers.
←Rate | 01-15-2017 12:51 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, If a guy mutes the volume during the Super Bowl when you sit down next to him, you need to do one thing. Marry him.
←Rate | 02-05-2017 13:08 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went on a blind date last night. She had crabs. Good thing she was wearing fish net stockings.
←Rate | 05-03-2013 06:52 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dan Marino's Love Child: There were no DNA tests. This came about when the mom saw the kid throw her bottle across the room in a perfect spiral hitting her dead center in the face every time.
←Rate | 01-31-2013 09:30 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon South Americans. They gave the world coffee and tomatoes. It was all downhill from there.
←Rate | 01-30-2017 12:43 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever notice the Pope's hat looks just like an upside down McDonald's Biggie Fries box?
←Rate | 02-11-2013 10:00 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was it THAT wrong writing, "To my sweet little Butter Face" on my girlfriend's Birthday card?
←Rate | 01-28-2013 09:29 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Purina hung up on me. I suggested mouse flavored cat food.
←Rate | 01-15-2017 11:58 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks for ruining real honey for all of us, Boo Boo idiots.
←Rate | 03-02-2013 02:36 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay so I meet this woman. Deb Bowen. The first thing she says is that she's not high maintenance. I ask, "How so?" She goes, "I prefer Cool Whip over Whipped Cream."
←Rate | 08-30-2012 09:14 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there. And after all this time no less. I wasn't ignoring you, you simply don't matter that much anymore. Please forgive me, yet my feelings will remain unchanged, Myspace phone app.
←Rate | 10-30-2012 17:23 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Canada: Compared to the USA, it's the North American equivalent to the kids' table at a holiday dinner.
←Rate | 01-30-2017 12:35 by Mickey Comments (0)  



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