MWC Funny Status Messages



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Page: 10 of 13

   messageicon My letter to Santa starts something like this: Dear Santa, My sister did it..
←Rate | 12-06-2012 11:00 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa, I plead the fifth! No wait... I drank it!!
←Rate | 12-10-2012 12:32 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went in to see a psychiatrist. I say, "Doc, I can't seem to make any friends. Can you help me, you fat slob?
←Rate | 04-24-2013 16:21 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm ready to go mushroom hunting, because I have no morels
←Rate | 03-29-2015 10:34 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel like I have my cranky pants pulled all the way up to my armpits!
←Rate | 04-18-2013 13:53 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm having a love/hate relationship with my antihistamines.
←Rate | 01-15-2013 12:15 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife told me to whisper dirty things to her, so I said "The Kitchen, Living room, Bedroom....
←Rate | 03-21-2014 07:58 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most of the lies I tell aren't even true!
←Rate | 04-18-2014 12:00 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to the bookstore and ask the sales woman "Where is the self help section" she said if she told me it would defet the purpose
←Rate | 03-12-2014 07:33 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keep the dream alive.....Hit the snooze button 6 times
←Rate | 04-14-2013 10:09 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder. They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
←Rate | 08-14-2015 13:39 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns and says to the other "Dam"
←Rate | 09-22-2014 07:03 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kidney stones, Hemorrhoids, Syphilis, or President...None I want to feel the Burn
←Rate | 04-09-2016 09:36 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Old Yeller's a book? All this time I thought it was my brother tooth...
←Rate | 10-21-2012 15:46 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't get my attitude confused with my personality. My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are.
←Rate | 11-01-2012 18:30 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought fifty shades of grey was a book about the color on us old people hair
←Rate | 07-25-2014 18:39 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Found out today that you're supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, NOT a jelly stain. Sorry, strange lady at the Waffle House. Just trying to help...
←Rate | 02-05-2013 09:10 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woke up naked and looking so sexy my shower got turned on.
←Rate | 11-13-2014 08:46 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women just complain I mean gripe I mean argue I ........I mean women are smart honey
←Rate | 04-06-2014 21:06 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone who says they DON"T fart, is full of s hit...
←Rate | 12-12-2012 13:05 by MWC Comments (0)  




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