Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
←Rate | 02-12-2017 08:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I get all the cardio I need by digging my own grave.
←Rate | 10-25-2017 15:54 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its already too late for some of you ladies to find Mr Right and I would advise you to just settle for Mr. What's Left or you will die alone.
←Rate | 07-15-2013 15:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You call it a "one night stand," I call it "catch and release."
←Rate | 12-02-2013 06:38 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Brain: Let’s dance. Legs: We don’t do that. Tequila: Just give it a minute.
←Rate | 01-27-2014 08:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When Kanye West blows out candles on a birthday cake he wishes it was his birthday, instead of whoever's party he's at.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 10:38 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is the worst carnival ever. I can't believe they blocked the street off for this. Sir, this is a crime scene.
←Rate | 05-12-2015 13:58 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
←Rate | 02-16-2015 11:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 5 "Lets all put our phones down and talk with each other.." - Someone who has run out of phone battery.
←Rate | 12-27-2014 09:00 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently, I tip hotel maids by forgetting my iPhone charger every time I check out. Every. Single. Time.
←Rate | 03-12-2014 14:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My boss called me lazy and said I had poor communication skills... I almost responded
←Rate | 09-17-2014 14:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “You make me a better person.” - Me talking to my cup of coffee.
←Rate | 06-24-2014 01:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my brain has too many tabs open.
←Rate | 12-20-2013 11:22 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "She's cute I swear, let me find a better picture." – Me telling my friends about my new girlfriend.
←Rate | 04-14-2014 13:31 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's totally ok to create a Facebook account for your pet, provided you have severe mental retardation.
←Rate | 05-27-2013 12:48 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now I totally understand why Peter Pan didn't want to grow up!
←Rate | 06-04-2013 01:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fastest way to confuse a woman is to tell her she looks great now that she's gained a couple of pounds.
←Rate | 09-26-2013 15:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's sad how an animal like a dog shows more humanity than humans do.
←Rate | 12-17-2013 23:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My kinda woman has more sex swings than mood swings.
←Rate | 07-16-2013 02:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coworker: I saw you at Starbucks this morning but didn't say hi Me: Thanks
←Rate | 07-15-2015 13:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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