Doc Noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Are you kidding me? I hope Madonna has a wardrobe malfunction during the Super Bowl halftime show. I know it sounds sick, but I'd like to see her dong.
←Rate | 12-06-2011 19:20 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon 99 donuts cause the B!tch ate one
←Rate | 06-06-2010 21:57 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could never find it in my heart to kill another person, but I've entertained the thought of dancing on a grave or two.
←Rate | 08-09-2012 07:40 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe that plane doesn't want to be found, have you ever think about that?
←Rate | 03-17-2014 19:54 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm an organ donor, but I'm pretty sure all they're going to use is my liver for *after* photos.
←Rate | 11-24-2011 10:24 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may be my own worst enemy but there is a hell of a lot of competition out there vying to unseat me.
←Rate | 03-09-2016 12:08 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Black mothers be like "your dad was on that Malaysia flight."
←Rate | 03-17-2014 20:02 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lazy fact #254946156, You were too lazy to read that number
←Rate | 12-05-2011 15:25 by doc noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Super Mario and Zelda are very accurate in depicting the idiotic things men will do for v@gin@.
←Rate | 04-23-2012 07:31 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Manti Te'o wasnt missing tackles in the National Championship, he was hugging his girlfriend.
←Rate | 01-17-2013 09:38 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girl says she doesn't want me j@rking off in the shower anymore. I told her its my d!ck and I'll wash it as fast as I want to.
←Rate | 05-26-2012 11:47 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need a pity pity bang bang
←Rate | 03-02-2012 11:01 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING: Tupac died again today when a member of his posse tripped over the extension cord.
←Rate | 04-16-2012 21:58 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you block me, don't be surprised if you look out your window to see me making out with your garden gnome.
←Rate | 10-12-2012 09:27 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon has Finally figured out the difference between us. You're me if I tried too hard!
←Rate | 05-11-2011 20:30 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Moral compass? Is there an app for that?
←Rate | 04-30-2014 18:25 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon #Tebow will be the first person in history to leave the mile-high club a virgin.
←Rate | 03-19-2012 17:59 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just invented "5-hour Energy Popsicle" and now my nose won't stop bleeding and I'm seeing ghosts.
←Rate | 01-05-2012 12:23 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll bet it would be excruciating to listen to Foghorn Leghorn sing a cover version of Jackson/McCartney's "Say Say Say."
←Rate | 11-05-2012 19:30 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't wait 'til I'm elderly so I can wear band-aids on my face without shame or explanation.
←Rate | 01-01-2012 22:39 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  




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