jake Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If the people I come in contact with daily could read my mind I'd get punch in the face alot.
←Rate | 11-10-2017 23:58 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it when I misplace my cell phone it set on silent
←Rate | 11-09-2017 21:39 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say that laughter is the best medicine. But if you're laughing for no reason, you need medicien.
←Rate | 11-09-2017 16:48 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn't pay their wifi bill.
←Rate | 11-09-2017 06:56 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rude is saying STFU. Polite is saying please STFU.
←Rate | 11-03-2017 21:05 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only correct answer to the question are you sleeping is no.
←Rate | 11-02-2017 20:42 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
←Rate | 10-29-2017 01:37 by JAKE Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your wife tells you that your right. Is that sarcasm?
←Rate | 10-23-2017 19:51 by Jake Comments (2)  


   messageicon Was having an argument with my wife. Just as I was about to win the argument, my alarm clock went off.
←Rate | 10-21-2017 17:29 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to look like a productive hubby. Add things to your to do list that dosen't need to be done. So you'll have things crossed off when your wife checks the list.
←Rate | 10-18-2017 01:00 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife is so fat, she eats a snack between snacks.
←Rate | 10-16-2017 18:08 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there are three ducks on a pond and you shoot one how many would be left on the pond? None. The other two would fly away after hearing the gun shot.
←Rate | 10-14-2017 22:23 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sister ask her brother: Am I pretty or ugly? Brother: Your both. Sister: What do you mean? Brother: Your pretty ugly.
←Rate | 10-13-2017 22:32 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Teacher: Billy, what rhymes with orange? Billy: No it doesn't.
←Rate | 10-13-2017 17:44 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wouldn't it be nice if you could adjust the brightness level of people like you can on your TV?
←Rate | 10-12-2017 23:56 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't always have to be in a rush. The early bird may get the worm. But the second mouse gets the cheese.
←Rate | 10-12-2017 23:20 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why don't witches wear panties? Because they get a better grip on their brooms without them.
←Rate | 10-12-2017 20:07 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The longer I stay at home. The more homeless looking I look.
←Rate | 10-12-2017 19:29 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a wife's deadbeat husband died. She had him cremated and his ashes placed in a 24 hour, hour-glass. He's now working 24/7 for eternity.
←Rate | 10-12-2017 02:28 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't mind going to work every day and working with a bunch of a**holes. I'm a proctologist.
←Rate | 10-11-2017 20:45 by Jake Comments (0)  


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