huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Superman wears glasses, everyone thinks he’s a different person. I wear glasses people say: “Hey, why are you wearing glasses?”
←Rate | 11-15-2017 05:06 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Social media is perfect when you're feeling sorry for yourself and your desire is to feel worse.
←Rate | 10-28-2017 17:52 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon For no reason at all Smash Mouth's "All Star" is stuck in my head. I'm sorry to do this to you, but if I go down, we all go down.
←Rate | 10-07-2017 07:42 by huck Comments (1)  


   messageicon EMINEM: My symptoms: palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, and I threw up Mom's spaghetti WEB MD: you have cancer
←Rate | 09-02-2017 06:42 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's be honest: The documentary they were making before the Blair Witch killed them would have sucked
←Rate | 07-16-2017 07:15 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have nothing in common with people who replace bread ties.
←Rate | 03-04-2017 07:51 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my spleen on my pant leg. And my liver adds a certain flair to my belt.
←Rate | 01-21-2017 07:05 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got lost in your eyes...but I also get lost in most department stores, so I wouldn't read too much into it
←Rate | 12-24-2016 20:57 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanksgiving tip #23: Call your dad now and ask him what the wifi password is so he has time to find the little paper it's written on before Thanksgiving.
←Rate | 11-15-2016 20:47 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to think this spider on my windshield during my morning commute is on his way to his own office job, too. I bet he's a web developer.
←Rate | 11-03-2016 05:51 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I'm ever found dead in the mountains with a pair of hiking sandals on my feet, know that I was murdered & made to wear some dork's shoes.
←Rate | 08-04-2016 07:37 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I asked my dry cleaners if they accepted credit cards and they said yes and then I asked if by chance they accepted declined credit cards.
←Rate | 07-31-2016 07:38 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rap videos are completely unrealistic. Nobody has that many friends
←Rate | 07-24-2016 07:40 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time doesn't exist. It's an exclusive construct derived from the primitive human mind. - I tell myself as I set my alarm for 5am
←Rate | 07-24-2016 07:34 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dog acts pretty tough for someone who's afraid of cotton balls
←Rate | 07-20-2016 19:05 by huck Comments (1)  


   messageicon I may not be the brightest crayon in the tool shed but at least I'm great at analogies.
←Rate | 07-10-2016 06:25 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you own a body shop and it's not called "Auto Correct", then what's the point?
←Rate | 07-02-2016 07:30 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I often think if I'd taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now.
←Rate | 06-05-2016 16:00 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many more of these body wraps do I have to eat before I start losing inches?
←Rate | 05-20-2016 18:50 by huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon A curling iron is not effective at turning regular fries into curly fries. I know that now.
←Rate | 02-10-2016 06:45 by huck Comments (0)  


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