JAKE Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I find you're total lack of ambition is inspiring.
←Rate | 08-12-2018 01:30 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man injured his hand at work. The doctor said sorry but we need to amputate one of your fingers. Man ask the hole finger? Doctor said no, the one next to it.
←Rate | 08-11-2018 20:53 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it wasn't intended for you to have a midnight snack. There would not be a light in the fridge.
←Rate | 08-11-2018 13:54 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man agreeing with a woman doesn't mean he agrees with her. It's just away to shut her up.
←Rate | 08-10-2018 13:24 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys, you'll really never know your woman untill you are married to her.
←Rate | 08-09-2018 15:08 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife has a slight speach impediment........ Every now and then she stops to take a breath.
←Rate | 08-09-2018 02:26 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon Where does Peter Pan have his lunch? At Wendy's.
←Rate | 08-05-2018 23:36 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I called the vet. and told him that my wife willbe dropping by with our old cat. Can you euthanizer her without any pain? Sure he said, but will the cat find it's way back home alone?
←Rate | 08-03-2018 21:07 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time my wife and I have sex, I put a dollar in a envelope. With the money I save up, I use to buy her anniversay gift. This year she getting a Mar's bar.
←Rate | 08-03-2018 20:34 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the person who stole my diet pills, you have nothing to gain.
←Rate | 08-03-2018 16:10 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the matter with you guys? Did you break your laugh box or something?
←Rate | 08-02-2018 18:25 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wives, husbands talk in their sleep because it's the only time they get a chance to talk.
←Rate | 08-02-2018 16:11 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who ever invented the knock knock joke should get the no bell prize.
←Rate | 08-02-2018 14:51 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cat: Hey. Me: Hey cat. Cat: What are you doing? Me: Smoking a joint, I think I'm stone. Cat: Ya think?
←Rate | 08-01-2018 17:43 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Losing your wife can be difficult. I know because I've been trying to lose mine for years.
←Rate | 07-31-2018 18:23 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon What business makes money by driving their customers away........ A taxi.
←Rate | 07-31-2018 14:57 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who ever stole my antidepressants, I hope you're happy.
←Rate | 07-30-2018 14:49 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not saying my wife is overweight or eats to much, but I had too put an engery saving lightbulb in the fridge.
←Rate | 07-30-2018 13:53 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon You always hear the wife complain about their husband leaving the toilet seat up. But you'll never hear the husband complain about the wife leaving the toilet seat down.
←Rate | 07-30-2018 03:29 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wives are like newspapers. They have a new issue every day
←Rate | 07-29-2018 06:08 by Jake Comments (0)  

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