father OR dad Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Her: I have a child that needs a father figure. Him: I wear socks with sandals. Her: wow, you’re daddy af.
←Rate | 04-22-2022 23:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge raclst, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was bIack - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
←Rate | 12-23-2021 14:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can still remember the words my father said to me on my wedding night “let’s hope this ones not a whore like the last one!”
←Rate | 12-22-2021 14:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My adopted highway called the Department of Transportation to find his real father.
←Rate | 06-21-2021 08:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Father's Day to all ads.... Except to those who can't drive a manual. Happy Mother's Day!
←Rate | 06-18-2021 14:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A School held a contest for 6th grade kids. the theme of the contest was, 'The Nicest Thing My Father Did For Me'.... The Winning kid said, "not wearing a condom...
←Rate | 06-18-2021 07:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not sure who needs to hear this but Walmart sells Father's Day cards in packs of five.
←Rate | 05-21-2021 21:11 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I’m saying is what kind of father would encourage a wayward son to carry on?
←Rate | 03-15-2021 10:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon $1400.00 per child? Hold up Maury, I just might be the father after all.
←Rate | 03-14-2021 11:25 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a kid my father used to hit me with his camera. I still get flashbacks
←Rate | 01-15-2021 12:51 Comments (0)  



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