trickz100 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I took my ex out last night, it only took one punch! :)
←Rate | 01-28-2017 14:02 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it whenever I open a can of evaporated milk, it's still there?
←Rate | 05-25-2013 03:34 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I booked a nice table for two, then she tells me she doesn't like snooker, wtf?
←Rate | 02-14-2013 04:23 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my Nike Fuelband, I've just masturbated for 4 miles.
←Rate | 12-31-2012 11:47 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 12.12.12 - It's a good day to test a microphone :)
←Rate | 12-12-2012 02:29 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lazy Fact #12983789127489: You were too lazy to read that number .
←Rate | 06-09-2012 00:53 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried to share a kebab with a homeless guy I saw sitting on a bench last night. He told me to f*ck off and buy my own.
←Rate | 04-11-2012 21:41 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said "May I please have a cigarette?". I can't believe kids this age are already so polite.
←Rate | 03-11-2012 16:02 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rupert Murdoch is said to be deeply touched by the messages from family and friends left on Whitney Houstons phone.
←Rate | 02-13-2012 02:41 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just killed a spider with my shoe. I don't care how big spiders are but no one steals my f*cking shoes!
←Rate | 11-23-2011 04:43 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just bought the wife a solar powered vibrator, seeing as the sun shines out of her arse it should save me a fortune on batteries.
←Rate | 09-16-2011 07:19 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Amy Winehouse Making the recession worse for drug dealers since 2011
←Rate | 07-23-2011 13:47 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just a kind thought to all those born on February 29th: You've only got 1 year left to plan your birthday party :D
←Rate | 02-28-2011 20:54 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A council estate in Liverpool was recently closed due to the discovery of an unidentified object. After 8 hours of scientific testing it turned out to be a payslip.
←Rate | 02-16-2011 03:16 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was asked to contribute money to help solve the civil unrest in Egypt, but I suspect it's some sort of pyramid scheme.
←Rate | 02-06-2011 06:26 by trickz100 Comments (1)  


   messageicon "Don't worry, there's plenty more fish in the sea!" - Err, who the hell would want to date a fish? O.o
←Rate | 02-06-2011 05:20 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having heard that Steve Jobs is in hospital with only his iPad to comfort him, I've decided to release the cure for pancreatic cancer into the public domain. But only in Flash.
←Rate | 01-27-2011 15:23 by trickz100 Comments (1)  


   messageicon - What do women and clouds have in common? Occasionally they f*ck off and it's a really nice day.
←Rate | 01-08-2011 10:17 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - I took my ex out last night. It only took one punch :)
←Rate | 12-15-2010 04:58 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - When Stephen Hawking has sex does he use Condoms or Norton Anti Virus?
←Rate | 11-15-2010 18:54 by trickz100 Comments (0)  


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