styles Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Happy birthday America, so what are we offended by today?
←Rate | 07-04-2015 14:01 by Styles Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the cats are hording all the single women out there... Happy Valentines Day everyone
←Rate | 02-14-2015 17:35 by Styles Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does Bruce Jenner qualify as a female driver?
←Rate | 02-08-2015 13:02 by Styles Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because I'm still looking for ideas.
←Rate | 02-06-2015 23:57 by Styles Comments (1)  


   messageicon I don't usually brag about my finances, but my credit card company calls me almost every day to tell me my balance is outstanding
←Rate | 02-06-2015 23:55 by Styles Comments (1)  


   messageicon I can make beer disappear, what is your super power?
←Rate | 02-01-2015 17:18 by Styles Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Obama can break the rules, so can the Patriots dammit.
←Rate | 01-22-2015 09:17 by Styles Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just tried to check my Farmville for the first time in 2 years, apparently I forgot to pay my taxes and the IRS owns it now.
←Rate | 12-27-2014 08:21 by styles Comments (0)  


   messageicon An atheist, vegan, and a cross fitter walk into a bar. I only know because they told everyone within 2 minutes....
←Rate | 12-26-2014 14:29 by Styles Comments (0)  


   messageicon I drove by a house today that had about 15 of those inflatable Christmas lawn decorations. In the daytime it looks like there was a drive by shooting in the North Pole and there were no survivors
←Rate | 12-11-2014 18:52 by styles Comments (0)  


   messageicon All of the Prophets claim One will come to bring the world together In a new age, I am here
←Rate | 11-15-2014 00:23 by Styles Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is a new strain of Marijuana on the market now. It is called "The Obama". It is very expensive, powerful, and does not do anything
←Rate | 07-23-2014 12:45 by Styles Comments (0)  


   messageicon He has risen!!! But only to use the bathroom, now I am going back to bed.
←Rate | 04-20-2014 10:55 by Styles Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care what President, beef jerky flavor, fruit, car, drink, beer, boat, pop tart, or actor I am supposed to be. I am me, that should be enough....
←Rate | 03-08-2014 14:10 by Styles Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am so proud of my gun, I left it alone and it did not kill anyone
←Rate | 02-25-2014 11:21 by styles Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember back when the media didn't have to invent names like "polar vortex" to tell us that it is cold during winter...
←Rate | 01-07-2014 19:53 by styles Comments (1)  


   messageicon I don't want to rescue pets, farm, pop bubbles, or crush candy...
←Rate | 01-04-2014 19:41 by Styles Comments (0)  


   messageicon Day 28: I am thankful for the fact that I do not have to see your 28 days of thankful posts for another year
←Rate | 11-28-2013 10:22 by styles Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tomorrow is National Half Priced Candy Corn Day
←Rate | 10-31-2013 13:30 by Styles Comments (0)  


   messageicon 5 blocks and no one has given me any candy, this is going to be a long day..
←Rate | 10-31-2013 13:20 by Styles Comments (0)  


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