pimpjuice Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If someone has to lie, cheat and steal to get your vote, they're not the leader you're looking for.
←Rate | 10-31-2016 07:07 by pimpjuice Comments (1)  


   messageicon Well on a positive note, Charlie Sheen.
←Rate | 11-20-2015 15:57 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon So let me get this straight. Hot dogs are the new cancer sticks?
←Rate | 10-28-2015 20:07 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon It really shouldn't be that hard to convict Bill Cosby. Everyone knows that the proof is in the pudding!
←Rate | 12-16-2014 17:56 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I'm saying is if she was any dumber I'd have to water her.
←Rate | 07-10-2014 16:54 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst part about having a teenager is every time I lose my weed, I freak out and wonder if my son took it.
←Rate | 06-08-2014 15:57 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard it's no bread, no head. Well ladies, I just picked a loaf up!
←Rate | 02-06-2014 08:49 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon someone to love and someone that loves me. and it would be awesome if they were the same person for once
←Rate | 02-01-2014 23:19 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend came out of the shower and said "I shaved down there, you know what that means?" I said, "You're donating to Locks of Love?"
←Rate | 01-30-2014 14:29 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon ATTENTION LADIES: I will now be downgrading expectations from someone I can love to someone I can tolerate. Act now while this amazing deal still lasts!
←Rate | 01-29-2014 12:43 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon my phone says it still isn't snowing. Has anyone checked outside?
←Rate | 01-28-2014 14:27 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon Day 88: I am thankful for my joke site. Without it I wouldn't be nearly as amusing on Facebook.
←Rate | 01-26-2014 10:41 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon keep your friends close, your shotgun closer.
←Rate | 01-25-2014 21:47 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon I only buy comforter sets that have white spots in the pattern
←Rate | 01-25-2014 19:31 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't hang around trifling people, you will begin to think it's normal if you have nothing else to compare it to
←Rate | 01-18-2014 11:16 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought the new $100 bill was new... Turns out I've just been broke since they came out
←Rate | 01-17-2014 16:12 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon I knew my wifes cooking was getting out of hand when the flies chipped in on a screen door
←Rate | 01-15-2014 18:02 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boy it's nice out today... our at least that's what it says on my computer.
←Rate | 01-15-2014 12:02 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't believe Walmart already has Valentine's Day stuff out. which reminds me.. I need to lose my girlfriend soon
←Rate | 01-04-2014 23:16 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love my new wood heater. Women actually want to take their clothes off for a change
←Rate | 12-31-2013 19:51 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


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