jake Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The differance between flirting and sexual harrassment. If you're attrative it's flirting.
←Rate | 07-15-2018 04:47 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife and I haven't had sex for weeks. And when I found out that she was having an affair, I asked her what does he have that I don't ? She said sex.
←Rate | 07-15-2018 01:29 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon At my wedding the minister asked me: Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? I said I do. He turn and look at her then back at me and said are you sure?
←Rate | 07-15-2018 00:46 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men.... Try role reversal in bed with your wife. And you have the headache for once.
←Rate | 07-14-2018 22:32 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you're getting old when you use the word "thingy" because you can't remember what things are called.
←Rate | 07-14-2018 22:00 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon What blood type does a pessimists have? ...... B negative.
←Rate | 07-14-2018 17:10 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you know the two words that can wreck a man's life? ...... I do.
←Rate | 07-13-2018 00:37 by Jake Comments (2)  


   messageicon Do you know the two words that can wreck a man's life?......... I do.
←Rate | 07-13-2018 00:21 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My bar buddy ask me have you ever made a decison without knowing all the information you needed to know? I said sure I have..... I got married.
←Rate | 07-12-2018 20:42 by Jake Comments (2)  


   messageicon It's so hot out that I've been sweating more than a drug smuggler going through coustoms.
←Rate | 07-12-2018 20:17 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon My bar buddy ask me have you ever made a decison without knowing all the facts? I said I sure have....... I got married.
←Rate | 07-12-2018 20:13 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so hot that I've been sweating more than a drug smuggler going through coustoms.
←Rate | 07-12-2018 20:08 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can lay on the floor without holding on...... You're not drunk.
←Rate | 07-12-2018 19:13 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it's alcoholic anonymous. Why do the members stand up an in-troduce them selves?
←Rate | 07-12-2018 15:46 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it a man's opinion can be express in a few minutes. Where a woman's opinion takes an hour.
←Rate | 07-11-2018 17:05 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it so hard to get the sticky label off of a new non-stick frying pan?
←Rate | 07-09-2018 22:20 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know your farts must really stink when you fart and your dog gets up and leaves the room.
←Rate | 07-09-2018 11:25 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Birth control pills are only tax deductable when they don't work.
←Rate | 07-09-2018 04:40 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the smoke detector sounds, I know the dinner my girlfriend is cooking is ready.
←Rate | 07-08-2018 22:48 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon To show my girlfriend I liked her cooking I had a second slice of her gravy.
←Rate | 07-08-2018 22:34 by Jake Comments (0)  

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