g0re Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If anybody is interested in a job where you sit and drink beer, 3 hours a day, 2 days a week, for $8000 a week, contact me. We can look together.
←Rate | 05-29-2012 19:22 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't be selfish with your prayers.
←Rate | 04-01-2012 11:10 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I the only one that when somebody says "10 years ago", thinks about 90's instead of 2002?
←Rate | 01-22-2012 18:51 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Admit it, When your were little and you swallowed a fruit seed you were scared to death a tree was going to grow in your tummy.
←Rate | 01-22-2012 18:35 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon go into a crowded room, shout, "HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON ME?" whoever turns around and answers is a bad person.
←Rate | 01-20-2012 02:52 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can just imagine a conversation between Mike Jones and an owl...
←Rate | 01-19-2012 06:44 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon 3am text message "Hey are you asleep?" No I'm scuba diving, what the hell do you want?
←Rate | 01-19-2012 06:19 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You actually have friends?" ... "Yeah, all 10 seasons on DVD!"
←Rate | 01-19-2012 06:15 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time to photoshop my life Touch up the edges, adjust the tones,blur out the background, focus on me, and crop people out...
←Rate | 01-19-2012 06:12 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon people ask me why I don't have any tattoos I tell em " would you put a bumper sticker on your ferrari?
←Rate | 01-14-2012 07:49 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon The planet Saturn = 7 rings, Michael Jordan = 6 rings, Kobe Bryant = 5 rings, LeBron James........... Just a headband
←Rate | 01-14-2012 07:46 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, "try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal."
←Rate | 01-14-2012 05:14 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Damn, you look better than ever. LOL JK, you've been hittin up McDonalds lately, right?
←Rate | 01-12-2012 22:10 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Brb = looking for an excuse to stop talking to you
←Rate | 01-12-2012 22:09 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon not to be rude but, I really don't care.. like, at all.
←Rate | 01-12-2012 22:07 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I wasn't that high!" "Dude, you walked into class, late, sat down & tried to put your seatbelt on."
←Rate | 01-12-2012 22:00 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I saw a homeless man holding a sign that said "why live in a $100k home when I can live under a 3 million dollar bridge?"
←Rate | 01-12-2012 21:50 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dwayne Wade n Chris Bosh both took cpr classes this summer... just incase Lebron decides to choke again this year.
←Rate | 01-12-2012 21:45 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I changed my name in my dads phone to God and when he swore I texted him saying "I HEARD THAT!" The look on his face; priceless.
←Rate | 01-12-2012 21:44 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I wasnt that drunk.." ... "bro you threw my parrot into a wall screaming "ANGRY BIRDS! " @___@
←Rate | 01-12-2012 21:43 by g0re Comments (0)  


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