downey Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm not sure who told bald guys they were required to have goatees, but they all fell for it.
←Rate | 12-27-2012 00:22 by Downey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn't the right answer...
←Rate | 12-27-2012 00:20 by Downey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can we start a rumor that all Ed Hardy & Tapout shirts are bullet proof?
←Rate | 11-15-2012 00:25 by Downey Comments (0)  


   messageicon wanna come back to my place & watch some p0rn on my 60" flat screen mirror?
←Rate | 06-29-2012 17:06 by Downey Comments (0)  


   messageicon the fact that I can order Domino's in my underwear without leaving my bed has proven how far technology has really came.... and how fuc%in' lazy I have also became.
←Rate | 05-17-2012 18:16 by Downey Comments (0)  


   messageicon If David Hasselhoff doesn't describe his workouts as "sweating his asseloff," well then screw him!
←Rate | 04-28-2012 10:24 by Downey Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing my ex & I had in common was that neither one of us would suck a d!ck.
←Rate | 04-28-2012 09:13 by Downey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got a text from my girlfriend, 'thespacebuttonisfaultyonthisphonecanyoupleasegivemeanalternative.' I wonder what 'ternative' means?
←Rate | 04-19-2012 16:22 by Downey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like when a woman tries to shove 210 pounds in a 135 pound dress because I used to bag groceries and admire that level of conviction.
←Rate | 04-13-2012 07:15 by Downey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I changed my alarm tone to a Justin Bieber song and it works great... Now I wake up early just so I don't have to hear that $hit.
←Rate | 04-13-2012 07:14 by Downey Comments (0)  



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