cj Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]
«Previous
1

Search results for status messages containing 'cj': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 9

   messageicon Next time I see a car with like, 90 stick children on it, I am taping a condom to the window.
←Rate | 02-17-2014 20:18 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I must confess...I want to get back with my ex..LOL just kidding! I would rather Sh*t in my hand and clap!!!
←Rate | 04-02-2013 01:51 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's time for my weekly game of, "Let's see how long I can drive with my gas light on."
←Rate | 04-02-2013 01:46 by CJ Comments (1)  


   messageicon My relationship status just changed to sweatpants oreos and netflix!
←Rate | 04-02-2013 01:44 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon With all do respect to Whitney (may she RIP), why did she not fix her child's teeth!!
←Rate | 11-01-2012 23:35 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon apparently just having one of those days....tonight is definitely going to be sponsored by Coors light!!
←Rate | 08-22-2012 19:23 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
←Rate | 08-01-2012 11:25 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Debt collectors calling you? They dont call ME anymore after I answer the phone "Homicide, Detective Smith speaking, please give me your full name and direct affiliation with the victim who's phone you've just called." Problem solved!
←Rate | 07-28-2012 13:07 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say, "You are what you eat" That's funny. I don't remember eating a sexy beast this morning.
←Rate | 07-24-2012 11:35 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon B*tch please, I can remove 99% of your so called "Beauty" with a kleenex.
←Rate | 07-24-2012 11:10 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having kids is a lot like living in a frat house. Everythings sticky and your not quite sure why...
←Rate | 07-13-2012 12:53 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Summer where all the days run into each other and every day is a saturday night!
←Rate | 07-11-2012 19:10 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond, by the end you will wish you had a club and a spade.
←Rate | 06-22-2012 20:50 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'
←Rate | 06-22-2012 11:13 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon No guy in the history of America has ordered a Smirnoff Ice at a bar without hating himself a little.
←Rate | 06-22-2012 11:11 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house
←Rate | 06-22-2012 11:10 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy and enjoy life!!
←Rate | 06-22-2012 11:08 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever get rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.
←Rate | 06-22-2012 11:02 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
←Rate | 06-22-2012 10:58 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
←Rate | 06-22-2012 10:54 by CJ Comments (0)  


«Previous
1

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left