bryan j brown Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]
«Previous
1

Search results for status messages containing 'bryan j brown': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 5

   messageicon So I read that Uber is going to start using self-driving cars to drive people around... Which is a great idea.. But I'm just thinking, if a car drives up to my house to take me somewhere with nobody in it.. I'm pretty sure I just got myself a new car...
←Rate | 12-17-2016 15:59 by Bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon WHAT THE F*CK!! This lady almost let her baby roll into the middle of the damn street trying to catch Pokémon on her phone... That don't make no sense unless it was a Mewtwo or a Charizard but other then that the baby comes first...
←Rate | 07-12-2016 20:54 by Bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hold up.. Spanking your kid can get you arrested??? If thats the case my mom should be on Death Row.. . ‪
←Rate | 09-13-2014 19:51 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon My landlord just called and said my neighbors just complained about all the loud freaky sex they are hearing from my house... So now I'm on my way to buy some headphones for my laptop...
←Rate | 05-06-2014 21:19 by bryan j brown Comments (1)  


   messageicon i am the kind of guy that likes to turn a woman on with a sexy dance.. Dances like "The Cabbage Patch" and "The Roger Rabbit", trust me it gets them wet... Normally wet from tears because they are laughing so hard but wet is wet...
←Rate | 01-25-2014 17:27 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing turns a close knit family into a bunch of cage fighters like the question of "Who wants to lick the spoon of cake batter?"... 
←Rate | 12-21-2013 20:33 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon If milk goes to $8 a gallon its gonna be hard for you ladies to trust anymore.. Cuz you always gonna wonder if he really likes you for you or cuz he loves him some Lucky Charms...
←Rate | 12-09-2013 19:00 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do chicks say that they can count the number of dudes they been with on one hand?? B*tch you ain't got 20 fingers on one hand..
←Rate | 09-27-2013 19:39 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I the only one that believes people without kids should get a "No-Child Tax Credit"... I mean I'm over here not overpopulating the world.. Think I deserve a lil something back for that... Yall Welcome!
←Rate | 02-11-2013 17:43 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Studies have shown that people who masturbate have longer lives then the people who dont... Guess that means my a$$ is living forever...
←Rate | 01-31-2013 18:34 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bryan Brown ‎"Can I see your phone??" SURE.. Just don't look in my contacts.... or my texts... or my pics.. or my videos... or my.. you know what just give me my damn phone back.. #Mr.Brown
←Rate | 08-22-2012 20:00 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon WTF...It should be illegally for a woman to have a nice ass body with a Not so nice face... Its like when GOD was creating her he thought too himself, "You know what would be real funny...." #Mr.Brown
←Rate | 05-21-2012 12:25 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if Titanic would have been as romantic if Jack would have said, "Hey Rose how bout we let me get on the headboard for just a couple of minutes"....
←Rate | 05-14-2012 12:34 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon If they play Adele "Set fire to the rain" one more time I'm gonna have too set fire to a radio station..
←Rate | 04-12-2012 10:51 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attention All Mom: if you have a son from the ages of (6 to 12).. Just randomly ask him..."If 30 ninjas broke in here right now what would you do??" Trust me it will make his day...
←Rate | 03-24-2012 13:40 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lazy Rule #227- I only buy Peanut Butter & Jelly when its swirled together cuz I aint got no time for all that two jar sh*t...
←Rate | 02-28-2012 10:38 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yo Italian Cruise Ship... I'mma let you finish but Titanic had the best sinking of all time!!!
←Rate | 01-18-2012 16:22 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Part of me says "I can wear my sunglasses at night"...But the other part says "Fool you know you clumsy enough in the daytime"...
←Rate | 01-08-2012 21:41 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you know that 85% of Facebook relationships end in "F*ck that B*tch"..
←Rate | 12-12-2011 23:42 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now I dont wanna have to tell you how to do your job as a woman...But as a man that's my job...
←Rate | 12-04-2011 21:37 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


«Previous
1

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left