abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]
«Previous
1

Search results for status messages containing 'abbybaby34': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 9

   messageicon Ladies, always keep a V-8 in your car in case you're pulled over so you can pour it over your crotch & say "I need a tampon please let me go."
←Rate | 06-20-2011 09:40 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are so many better reasons to riot other than hockey... like a shoe sale!
←Rate | 06-16-2011 18:35 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Calling all my ex girlfriends today to tell them I have herpes. I don't really have it, I just don't want any of them to sleep with other people.
←Rate | 06-15-2011 09:24 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There'd be less accidents if there was a texting lane.
←Rate | 06-15-2011 09:23 by abbybaby34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon just bought a new pack of socks to avoid doing laundry tonight.
←Rate | 06-15-2011 09:23 by abbybaby34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Love...it takes hostages and shows zero remorse.
←Rate | 06-15-2011 09:22 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best way to win an argument is to play dead.
←Rate | 06-15-2011 09:21 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's rush hour and a million people are going West and a million are going East. We should either swap jobs or swap houses
←Rate | 06-09-2011 09:03 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like art done in chalk, beautiful but temporary, enjoy it while possible.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 09:29 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whose idea was it to "be an adult?"
←Rate | 05-31-2011 09:29 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Real men like curves; Only dogs like bones.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 09:28 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just rescued some wine.. it was trapped in a bottle. I saved the day!
←Rate | 05-28-2011 13:56 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thongs are like barbed wire fences. They protect the property, but don't block the view.
←Rate | 05-28-2011 13:55 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I lost my balance crawling into bed and leaned my head on the ceiling to prevent from falling over.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 12:43 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To ensure you never cut yourself while chopping vegetables, get a friend to hold the vegetable.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 09:15 by abbybaby34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon We should have a way of telling people their breath stinks without hurting their feelings like, for example: "I'm bored, lets go brush your teeth!"
←Rate | 05-19-2011 09:14 by abbybaby34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon My phone used to say things like "3 missed calls" and now it says things like "nobody even thought about calling you."
←Rate | 05-17-2011 16:43 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't think too much. You'll create a problem that wasn't even there in the first place.
←Rate | 05-17-2011 16:42 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mother Nature can be cruel sometimes. If I ever meet her I'm gonna snatch her purse. Old B*tch
←Rate | 05-17-2011 16:42 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what happened to that guy from the 90's who sang that song about barely breathing. I hope he's OK!
←Rate | 05-10-2011 16:03 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


«Previous
1

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left