The Legal Eagle Funny Status Messages

   ...U.S. combat in Iraq officially over. I love Pres. Obama! He's the ONLY black guy I know who's kept his withdrawal promise!

   ...Brad Pitt may favor death penalty after BP oil spill. Says execs should hafta watch “Meet Joe Black” over & over til they kill themselves!

   ...Justin Bieber is new spokesperson for Proactiv. No wonder he has his hair combed forward. His forehead must look like Courtney Love's ass.

   ...Wyclef Jean disqualified for Haitian Presidency. Hey, that's no fair! If we elected an unqualified black man, why can't they?

   Jet Blue steward Steven Slater offered reality show to help people quit their jobs. I'm gonna bet it won't be the first pilot he's done!

   The Hoff's singing is huge in Germany. He should be proud. Germans have always been known 4 their sound judgment

   Tiger Woods' golf game, marriage crumbles. I guess going from 120 holes down to 18 has been too hard an adjustment for him!

   Montana Fishburne was a prostitue. Wow, a hooker AND a porn star! Or as Charlie Sheen would call her, “Perfect!”

   ...Kim Kardash begs fan NOT 2 get surgery 2 look like her. Kim's right. Someone in porn shoulda begged Heidi Montag not 2 look like one of THEM!

   ...Tila Tequila denies sex tape rumors. Good. When most Asians talk about doggie-style it usually means how they want their dinner prepared!