SlowMotionNinja Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I just checked on my Farmville after 3 years. It's now a Wal-mart
←Rate | 10-08-2017 12:22 by Slowmotionninja Comments (0)  


   messageicon 60 percent of the worlds population is female which means some of you are going to die alone think keep that in mind next time you get my text
←Rate | 03-09-2015 09:46 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon if noone comes from the future to stop you, how bad of a decision could it really be?
←Rate | 07-29-2014 20:41 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know when I was younger I was under the impression that quick sand was going to be a serious issue in life...
←Rate | 04-01-2013 22:59 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon So there are teenagers out there that have unprotected sex, but yet have cases on their phones. Just let that sink in for a minute....
←Rate | 03-08-2013 09:41 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim Kardashian Says She Would Like To Have Sex With Herself …To Know What It Feels Like! Guess that means that after Kanye West Noone wants to touch her.
←Rate | 02-19-2013 11:13 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Baby, I would take a bullet for you... In Halo 4... Unless I'm on a kill streak.
←Rate | 01-21-2013 22:20 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (1)  


   messageicon I just inadvertently murdered two snails in front of what I can only assume was their son. As a result, I may have just created the snail equivalent of the batman.
←Rate | 09-06-2012 08:56 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have decided I am going to write erotica for the elderly. Excerpts from Chapter 1: "He wondered why she took off her Dentures. Later he could not thank her enough."
←Rate | 08-09-2012 10:10 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I just saw a church sign that said "Why pay for GPS, Jesus gives guidance for free." Do you think Best Buy would match that?
←Rate | 07-24-2012 12:16 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watching the movie Independence Day to commemorate Will Smith's efforts in preventing an alien invasion this exact day 16 years ago. I thank Will Smith for my freedom!!!
←Rate | 07-04-2012 16:30 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you mix Taco Bell sauce into your ramen, It tastes exactly like poverty
←Rate | 04-09-2012 12:28 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a question for all government officials and anyone who supports SOPA/PIPA. Do you really want to piss off ALL those hackers all at once?
←Rate | 01-20-2012 10:48 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon She wanted something that went from 0 to 300 in 2 secs so I got her a scale...
←Rate | 09-29-2011 17:11 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon VMA recap: Lady GaGa came in as a man. Nicki Minaj came as Lady GaGa, and Jay-z came in Beyonce
←Rate | 08-30-2011 22:25 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Math questions are so dumb! They're like "if you have 30 chocolate bars and you eat 29, what do you have left?" OH I don't know how bout diabetes!!
←Rate | 08-17-2011 11:18 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon men think about sex every 7 seconds, which is the exact reason I eat hotdogs in under 6 seconds...So it doesn't get weird
←Rate | 07-25-2011 16:29 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon well America looks like you can kill little girls and get away with it these days...Who wants to track down Bieber with me?
←Rate | 07-13-2011 11:24 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon whenever you feel powerless, remember that just one single turd of yours can shut down an entire waterpark
←Rate | 07-12-2011 15:27 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon The kids down the street have challenged me to a water fight...I'm just updating my status whilst I wait for the kettle to boil
←Rate | 07-11-2011 08:46 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


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