Slickpony Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon "Hello 911?" "Someone just stole my status on Facebook....yes, I'll hold"....
←Rate | 02-08-2013 00:34 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Can't You Just Let Me Watch The Damn Football Game?" ~~ the Working Title of my new Childrens book, probably....
←Rate | 08-01-2012 01:08 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....I just got a Booty Call from Life....apparently it still wants to keep screwing me.... :(
←Rate | 08-01-2012 01:06 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎"Dijon found himself spread upon a bed of lettuce, atop a thin slice of turkey breast....enveloped by steamy buns....garnished with a sweet, crisp pickle...." ~~ Excerpt from my new book "50 SHADES OF GREY POUPON"....
←Rate | 08-01-2012 01:06 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look here Dora....If you ever want to see your monkey friend again you are gonna stick these condoms full of heroin in your ass and get them through customs....
←Rate | 07-13-2012 18:27 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon It picks the movie out quickly from the Redbox or it gets the hose again....you stupid b!tch....
←Rate | 07-13-2012 18:26 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....I often joke that my wife is too fat for sex....I call her 'Missionary Impossible'....
←Rate | 07-12-2012 23:50 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....I've decided I'm going to write the first Gangsta Rap adaptation of Winnie-The-Pooh....I'm gonna call it 'Tigga Please'....
←Rate | 04-24-2012 17:07 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know....they say one in every four men are gay....so there must be one in my group of friends.....I hope it's Michael, 'cuz he's super cute....
←Rate | 04-23-2012 15:10 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I want you to tongue punch your fart box" ~~ my worst pick-up line ever, probably....
←Rate | 02-24-2012 23:58 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I used to love her, but I had to kill her" ~~ Guns & Roses celebrating Valentines alone, probably....
←Rate | 02-14-2012 08:47 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know....I'm still waiting on the "Once you go black, you'll never go back" episode of Mythbusters....
←Rate | 02-14-2012 08:46 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know...."Manuscript" is probably the classiest place to hide the word "anus"....
←Rate | 02-14-2012 08:44 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....has anyone else ever noticed....that Kurt Cobain killed himself one month after Justin Bieber was born....I guess Kurt knew....
←Rate | 02-10-2012 23:17 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know....it's been almost two months since Christmas.....I should probably stop ceaselessly referring to my p*nis as the "Pole-her Express"....
←Rate | 02-10-2012 11:57 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know....it seems Assholism runs in my family....
←Rate | 02-10-2012 11:46 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Unicorn soup is freaking delicious! ~~ Noah, probably
←Rate | 02-09-2012 14:59 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....unfortunately....I put the "tiny" in "Is it in yet?" :(
←Rate | 02-09-2012 14:54 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....my wife is going to start an all-girl punk band....it'll be called Fistful of Midol....Yea, they'll only play for a week each month tho....
←Rate | 02-08-2012 12:30 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....I just found a bottle of 5-Hour Energy in the gutter.....there was still 18 minutes of energy in it....just the boost I needed....
←Rate | 02-08-2012 12:28 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


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