Nick Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I gave her four orgasms but they were all mine.
←Rate | 08-06-2013 17:13 by Nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a cat and when I smoke pot I gain the ability to type for 60 secmeow meow meow.
←Rate | 04-26-2013 10:30 by nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar... and doesn't.
←Rate | 07-24-2012 08:32 by Nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if Tupac is alive and we are all holograms?
←Rate | 04-20-2012 14:14 by nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day and anal sex makes your hole weak...
←Rate | 03-03-2012 09:01 by nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon a good driver discount, a good student discount. what about a watching an anoying lizard in a stupid comercial discount?
←Rate | 01-15-2012 23:55 by Nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon cant have an openly religious football player in the NFL, that would be bad. it needs more accused murderers, rapists and morons who shoot themselves in the leg.
←Rate | 01-15-2012 23:52 by Nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon "And the flowers are still standing!"
←Rate | 01-15-2012 11:32 by Nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon lol @ "If he pauses his game to text you back, marry him".. We never pause it, we're just waiting to respawn.
←Rate | 12-27-2011 00:28 by Nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon God may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding..,.God thinks you suck also.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 18:24 by Nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like, likeing the quotes everybody hates:)
←Rate | 10-21-2011 20:56 by nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've always wanted to place a personal ad no one would answer: "Elderly, depressed, accident-prone junkie, likes Canadian food and Welsh music, seeking rich, well-built, oversexed, female deaf mute in her late teens. Must be nonsmoker."
←Rate | 10-16-2011 15:53 by Nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.
←Rate | 10-16-2011 05:42 by Nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said, Nick, you're a big disappointment,' and God bless her soul, she was really onto something..
←Rate | 10-16-2011 05:40 by Nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe if these Wall Street protesters had put as much effort into making something out of themselves as they do protesting. They would be working on Wall Street.
←Rate | 10-07-2011 08:54 by Nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Going to a strip club when your married is like going to mercedes dealership and not being able to to take one home.
←Rate | 10-02-2011 15:23 by Nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon and asks the bartender, "how much for a drink?" A neutrino walks into a bar
←Rate | 09-26-2011 20:13 by nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey, I don't like cocaine... I just like the way it smells.
←Rate | 09-22-2011 13:48 by nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face! Duh!
←Rate | 12-20-2010 17:37 by nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon just realized that Superman was an illegal immigrant
←Rate | 11-24-2010 12:24 by nick Comments (2)  


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