MikeM Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You will unlikely ever be the oldest person on the planet, but for a brief moment you held the record for the youngest.
←Rate | 05-23-2014 19:27 by mikem Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to a government shutdown, no one is "Engineering the electricals."
←Rate | 10-01-2013 21:43 by MikeM Comments (2)  


   messageicon "One, two, Freddy's comin' for you... Three, four, you'd better lock your door..." oh wait, wrong holiday!
←Rate | 09-13-2013 06:15 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon After the VMAs people everywhere are saying that Miley Cyrus is the most talentless, disappointing girl in the music industry... I'm sorry, but please don't take that title away from Justin Bieber..
←Rate | 08-27-2013 22:45 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Teaching my kids some nursery rhymes for the first time... Damn you Andrew Dice Clay!
←Rate | 07-31-2013 19:58 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon My first cup of coffee is enjoyed with silence, thank you for understanding.
←Rate | 06-08-2013 08:47 by MikEM Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I say, "That's interesting", don't assume it is, or that you are right or that I even I agree with you; most likely it means I am not really listening...
←Rate | 05-01-2012 17:31 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love "words with friends" so much I wish they would make it a board game.
←Rate | 01-19-2012 20:54 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thank goodness Jon Bon Jovi is alive after all, Nickleback would be nothing without him.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 22:04 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alarm, snooze, check Facebook...
←Rate | 12-17-2011 07:49 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon I picked up a bad habit of reading text messages, and then verbally responding to them, and then putting my phone away.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 16:17 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Facebook, please remove the instant "share" button. The newsfeed was no much cleaner when people were just too lazy to copy and paste.
←Rate | 10-04-2011 18:40 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon *Solution to fix the problems you have with the new Facebook setup* First click the down arrow upper right corner, then click "Account Settings", then go to "security", select "deactivate account", small form to fill out, then confirm. Then go outside.
←Rate | 09-23-2011 16:18 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon In an effort to save the economy the Government will be downsizing the population. Soon it will begin eliminating all the ugly people. My eyes began to water and my heart dropped when I thought of you, hang in there my friend. Be strong.
←Rate | 08-16-2011 21:22 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon Grandmother died and in the will she left me the whole farm!! only later did I realized it was on Facebook. Well played Grandmother, well played.
←Rate | 08-03-2011 19:44 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon so "Diet Pepsi" and "Diet Coke" are now linked to increased weight, diabetes, risk of stroke/heart disease and they ruin your taste buds.... Can we change the name now to just "Gross Tasting Drink"?
←Rate | 07-09-2011 09:07 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon the world is ending Saturday??? Oh well this is bogus, it was supposed to be December 21, 2012?
←Rate | 05-19-2011 08:13 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon “I like smoking a pipe of sweet hemp.” – Abraham Lincoln
←Rate | 04-20-2011 07:35 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon making Sunday my favorite day since Rebecca Black ruined Fridays.
←Rate | 04-10-2011 07:42 by MikeM Comments (0)  


   messageicon changing my Facebook name to "Nobody", that way I can 'like' a stupid status and it will read "Nobody likes this."
←Rate | 02-28-2011 18:15 by MikeM Comments (0)  


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