Mike M Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When someone hands me a Bible, I flip it open and autograph it. Then I hand it back (as they look very confused), I smile and say.. "It's always nice to meet a fan!"
←Rate | 05-15-2016 07:47 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who say "May the 4th be with you" are the same people who say "see you next year" at the employee Christmas party.
←Rate | 05-04-2016 06:12 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon The road to recovery from my addiction to sexual innuendos has been a long and hard one. But the end is in sight... I can see it coming.
←Rate | 10-09-2014 04:22 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon Farts are a poop's way of texting, "On my way."
←Rate | 11-30-2013 09:36 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon So if Jesus doesn't see his shadow when he comes out of his cave this Sunday, does that mean we get 2,000 more years of hell on earth?
←Rate | 03-25-2013 21:44 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cinco de Mayo is actually about a ship full of mayonnaise that sank off the coast of Mexico.
←Rate | 05-05-2012 07:05 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon May you have the luck of the Irish and starve today because you can't find potatoes!
←Rate | 03-17-2012 07:38 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon Honestly officer, it's not my fault... Jesus took the wheel...
←Rate | 11-29-2011 14:03 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't always drink milk, but when I do.... I prefer Dos Boobies. Stay thirsty my friends...
←Rate | 10-16-2011 18:39 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel sorry for the adjective "flaccid" for it will forever be associated with that one thing...
←Rate | 09-28-2011 08:29 by Mike M Comments (0)  



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