MG Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Jeremiah quickly learned that as long as he had wine, some mighty fine wine, he would always have a friend.
←Rate | 06-13-2013 21:46 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lysdexicia at meeting 8pm sharp today.
←Rate | 05-29-2013 15:52 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would like to know exactly what makes the topless protesters mad enough to protest topless so we can do more of it.
←Rate | 05-29-2013 13:05 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am totally lacking the "zippity" part of my "do dah day."
←Rate | 05-28-2013 10:56 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not impatient...I just don't like to wait.
←Rate | 03-14-2013 16:35 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon I lost my mood ring and now I don’t know how I feel about that.
←Rate | 03-04-2013 16:09 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon The number of people killed because alcohol is easily offset by the number of people conceived because of alcohol.
←Rate | 02-27-2013 21:37 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon To my wonderful niece; when you tell people I am the "funny uncle" could you please make sure you mention that you mean "ha ha" funny and not "(⊙_⊙)" funny...people are starting to give me the stink eye. :-/
←Rate | 02-25-2013 17:34 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon Diamonds for sale....$50 million shipment just in.
←Rate | 02-19-2013 10:36 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wife says; "If your fantasy is to have 2 women in bed you cn forget it because I won't do it!" Me; "You wasn't one of the two in the fantasy anyway so, I am good with that." Wife; (・_・)ノ”(ノ_<)
←Rate | 02-19-2013 10:29 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon clearly, it is wrong to describe woman's menopause as "the old Fallopian tubes finally rusting shut." My bad.
←Rate | 02-18-2013 12:36 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon The good thing about Facebook is you can make someone disappear from your FB world by simply deleting and blocking the annoying offender. To accomplish the same thing in the real world, you have to find a remote location and take the time to dig a shallow
←Rate | 02-11-2013 17:02 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook makes stalking that special someone so much easier.
←Rate | 02-08-2013 22:27 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since I just finished my 4th glass of this wonderful spirit, all status updates, texts, private messages, and voice mails from me are now considered null and void.
←Rate | 02-08-2013 22:21 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is what I is, it was what it was, and it shall be what it shall be.
←Rate | 02-02-2013 08:17 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon If God is inside us, then I hope he likes enchiladas
←Rate | 04-18-2010 04:40 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon   When did I realize I was God? Well I was praying, and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
←Rate | 04-18-2010 04:38 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?" "Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
←Rate | 04-13-2010 10:48 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want your children to listen to you, try talking softly to someone else
←Rate | 04-06-2010 09:17 by MG Comments (0)  


   messageicon National Atheist's Day April 1st
←Rate | 04-01-2010 08:11 by MG Comments (0)  


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