Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I sexually identify as please stop talking to me.
←Rate | 07-05-2018 01:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does Facebook realize when they put us in Facebook jail, they're separating us from our families?
←Rate | 07-03-2018 00:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My son screamed like a little girl when he saw a spider so no paternity test was needed.
←Rate | 06-28-2018 05:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thighs that slap together when you walk are just giving the owner an applause.
←Rate | 06-28-2018 02:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm at the age where I am about to make a dentist a lot of money.
←Rate | 06-23-2018 05:23 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The apocalypse doesn't care what your credit score is.
←Rate | 06-21-2018 16:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wife: Why did you drink all the rum? me: I lost the cap
←Rate | 06-21-2018 16:48 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You would think I am a fugitive on the run the way I react when there is a knock on my door.
←Rate | 06-17-2018 07:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not trying to brag but I haven’t been around people in days
←Rate | 05-28-2018 23:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Throw a drink at Tomi Lahren? In this economy?
←Rate | 05-26-2018 01:31 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today has me seriously evaluating my policy of not drinking on the job.
←Rate | 05-22-2018 13:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In my time, real men did not smoke cigarettes with batteries.
←Rate | 05-17-2018 12:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Running shoes? No, I don't run. These are my "better hurry up the liquor store is about to close" shoes.
←Rate | 04-27-2018 14:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor said I’m healthy enough for sex, just not attractive enough.
←Rate | 04-19-2018 01:48 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m small but influential. Like bacteria or Tom Cruise.
←Rate | 04-18-2018 14:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please don’t ask me for advice about life because I will accidentally screw up yours too.
←Rate | 04-17-2018 12:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to Assumption club I think we all know why we're here...
←Rate | 04-14-2018 11:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We will always have that special 5 minutes before I started creeping you out.
←Rate | 04-09-2018 02:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I'm usually fine with going home.
←Rate | 04-08-2018 13:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just started a club for people who hate people. I’m the only member. No you can’t join because I hate you.
←Rate | 04-08-2018 11:02 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

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